After talking to her before I boarded my first plane home I felt that something was different in her voice. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. When I finally reached Charleston I was so ready to get off the plane to see her. I was nervous and didn't know why and at the same time I was mad at myself because she made it clear to me that she wasn't ready for a relationship so why was I getting my hopes up? I needed to do just as I was doing before I left town and respect her feelings and decision to not have me in her life in a romantic way.
When I finally arrived in Charleston and got to the baggage area I spotted her right away and to be honest, it was complete torture that I could not kiss her hello. I was her friend and thankful for the ride home... that's it! I was also hungry so we stopped at Denny's for something to eat. While waiting for food she sat next to me in the booth so we could show each other our photos from the weekend. At one point, her face was inches from mine and I tried to convince myself that I was crazy for thinking that there was a brief moment where she looked at me and it was more than a look from someone who was just a friend. I got butterflies in my stomach and did my best to ignore it.
We got to my house and I started unpacking. It as late, but I was wide awake and told her to hang out with me. We watched TV for a bit in our usual position... she was sitting up and because I'm a glutton for punishment, my head was in her lap. To be honest, I can't even remember what we were watching. Before long her hand was on my hair... and my neck... and my arm.... Um, what's happening here? Aw! She DID miss me! I was happy, hesitant and scared about getting her attention again.
This past weekend I had plans to visit my friend Duste and her girlfriend Nikki in North Carolina and I asked Teresa, who also knows Duste, if she wanted to join me. I was so excited when she said yes! Friday night was beyond lovely and it just went downhill from there. On the way home she had checked out emotionally and physically and I knew that it was back to square one. I was emotionally exhausted from the roller coaster ride and still am.
Fast Forward to today.... we are "just friends" AGAIN! Pure bliss lasted for 5 days. sigh! It's not exactly where I want things to be, but I definitely don't want to be with someone who doesn't want me. My feelings are strong and this is most definitely hard but I need to keep reminding myself that her friendship is what matters most.
Will I ever win?
It was really nice seeing Duste again. I think the last time I saw her was at my Father's funeral in 2003. We got there Friday evening and went for some Mexican and then to Dairy Queen in Southport. On the way home Nikki saw some blue lights from police cars and made Duste drive by to see what was happening... turns out it was a license check! Duste is a corrections officer and knew the cops so we drove through, but it was hysterical that Nikki was so excited that there may possibly be some action happening and it was just a traffic stop!
On the way home Friday night we were on the main road that leads to Duste's house when Duste said she saw a snake in the road. She turned the car around and went back to the area and it turned out that it was an diamondback rattlesnake. ew! I didn't get a very good look at it because I didn't have my glasses on but I did see that it was coiled up and ready to strike. We all argued about what to do and I told Duste she couldn't run it over and her argument was that it was a neighborhood and the snake was deadly and what if a kid was outside playing? With that, she rolled MY JEEP over the snake! I think I screamed for 5 minutes! She turned the car around again and the snake was still alive and still partially coiled for attack. She ran over it again and this time stepped on the gas and actually SPUN OUT on the snake! I am sure there is snake juice on my car! I was mortified.
The next day we were coming home from the store and we saw another snake crossing the road. It was about 3 feet long, black with faded looking white rings around it. I think it was a king snake or something. Anyway, we were going pretty fast and couldn't avoid hitting this one. By the time we turned around a couple of other cars hit it as well and it was on the side of the road. That is just TOO MUCH snake action for one weekend.
On a lighter note, Duste and Teresa DID rescue a snapping turtle by helping it cross the road. That thing was HUGE. Teresa has pictures of it. If I get copies I will definitely post them.