The last couple of days I have been thinking hard about
people whom I consider to be close friends and the apparent misconceptions I
have regarding my role in their life.
Tabitha and I got married last Friday in Charlotte, which I
do intend to write about but I need to get this off my chest because it feels
like emotional poison.
I have known most of these friends for years and would do
anything for them. I have attended their
weddings, birthdays, baby showers, children’s birthdays and other significant
celebrations in their life. There have
been cards and gifts and phone calls and it’s absolutely baffling that I
haven’t received the same in return. I
never expected gifts but not even a card was sent. Really?
There are people I know at work who knew that we were going
and nothing was said to me on Monday when I returned until I was in their
department. No emails, no instant
messages, no inter-office phone calls, nothing.
I have been trying to not think about it but it is very bothersome. Am I not important enough for these “close”
friends to get a 99¢ greeting card to say congratulations? Am I being overly sensitive?
Last night during our walk downtown I was talking to Tabitha
about my feelings and disappointment.
Tabitha suggested it could possibly be the gay marriage thing (which I
do know most of my friends support) and people might believe that it’s a
novelty. I totally get that. I do believe that a lot of people
subconsciously think that marriage between a man and a woman is more
sacred. Maybe they aren’t used to the
fact that same-sex marriage is an actual REAL thing. Maybe it’s because not every state (including
ours) recognizes it therefore it’s not a reality in their world.
Another possible reason I have come up with for the lack of
gestures is that we didn’t have a “real” wedding. We got married in a courthouse. There were no vows to witness and we didn’t
have a big party or an open bar. Out of
sight, out of mind, right? Maybe I’m too
old. Is there a getting married deadline
that I’m not aware of? Once you hit 30
people don’t acknowledge your nuptials?
Thank the universe for Facebook. I think that has become the social norm for
offering happy birthday’s, congrats on weddings or babies among other well
wishes. I find it amazing that I
received a ton of Christmas cards but not one card offering congrats on the
wedding.
I have a friend that I have known for almost 30 years. I sent her a text telling her in case she didn't see it on Facebook and this is what I got back:
Seriously. That's all they said. It’s a wedding.
That’s a MAJOR life event. I just
don’t get it.
I keep telling myself to just get over it and take it for
what it’s worth, learn from it and move on.
Definitely easier said than done. I'm so thankful to have Tabitha by my side to make me smile and and see the positive in all when I'm down. I believe that her smile, her laugh and sweet nature can ease the hurt and pain from anything the world throws my way.
