Coyotecal Partie Deux

This geocaching situaton has really ticked me off. Before I went to bed last night I did a little (a lot!) of research and sent Brad (the cache reviewer) another email.

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Hi Brad,
I have been sitting here doing some research on geocaching in South Carolina because this archive request has me really annoyed.

I just moved back to the area in February 2009 and right from the start, as I made new caching friends down here, I have heard about the hoopla with cemetery caching in S.C. When I first heard about it, I thought it was the most insane thing since I have done hundreds of "spirit caches" up North and have never had a problem. I've even done the cache at Stonehenge in England - if that place isn't sacred, I don't know what is!

I went to the Title 16 article that my new "friend" Coyotecal was so nice to point out to me and that article had NOTHING to do with cemetery caches. It is the article pertaining to the DNR ruling that they banned geocaches in wildlife management areas, which seems reasonable. From there I did a full text search of S.C. Code of laws using the words geocaching, cemetery and cemeteries and came up with NOTHING.

I know that in 2005 some overzealous politician tried to get cemetery caching banned which ended up as Bill 3777. Now, as far as I can tell, that bill never passed and is just sitting there, which means that cemetery caching - like in every State I have cached in prior - is actually legal. Is this true?? If so, why is everyone walking on eggshells with getting caches approved and why is bullying allowed by cachers such as coyotecal (who doesn't even have any cache hides/finds!)?

I'm just trying to get to the bottom of this and would prefer not to write to my congressman. Is there an ACTUAL LAW stating that I cannot place my cache on cemetery grounds? If so, what is the chapter and title# because I'd like to read it. If not, I'm so confused as to why people are so misinformed and of why caches are getting denied when no law is being broken.

Thanks for any info.
Pam/skitpero

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After an Ambien-induced sleep fest I woke up today with a response to my ongoing cache war:

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Hi Pam.

The H3777 issue came about because some geocaching activities in historically black cemeteries were perceived to be disrespectful - and whether or not they were done out of lack of respect is irrelevant. Perception is fact. The past use of South Carolina's ports for slave trade is a significant factor.

And you are correct - an over zealous politician from an area with a particular demographic population introduced H3777 with a flash of publicity. Quite a bit of the material used to paint such a dark picture of geocaching came from cache logs in other parts of the country - but that was not disclosed, leaving everyone to assume that all of it had happened in South Carolina.

The important activities took place behind the scenes. First, all caches in and around cemeteries were archived and removed. A small group of dedicated geocachers met with many of the state's department heads with land stewardship responsibilities, and they met with some key senators, explained geocaching, explained the flaws within and behind the bill. Quietly they came up with an agreement with the senators that we would not do any geocaching in or around SC cemeteries in the future. All of this took a tremendous amount of work. I wrote to my state senator on the issue. Ultimately the bill was allowed to die in committee.

With all of this in mind, and after reviewing the photographs you provided in another message, I am concerned that your cache may be in conflict with the spirit of the agreement we made. A question in my mind is whether the cemetery property boundary is defined by the wooden rail fence. If so, then your cache beside the tree inside the fence should not be there.

Do you know any more about the actual cemetery property boundary?

Thanks.

-Brad

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Are you effing kidding me? This infuriated me!! Now I know why there are so few South Carolina geocaches and why more cachers don't place then AND why the caching locations are lame and uninteresting! People are afraid!!

After long thought and consideration I sent this email back to Brad...

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Brad

I'm not quite sure where I'm supposed to get that sort of information... about where cemetery boundaries are, so what if move it OUTSIDE of the fence? To be honest with you, I really can't believe that this is an issue because you don't even have to go near the graves to retrieve the cache. It would be just like any other place of historical significance if the graves weren't there.

I'm really glad that I spent my formative caching days in places where caching is actually respected and fun. It has given me the opportunity to know what caching is really like! The spirit of community, CITO events, caching get-togethers, incredibly creative caches and just the overall camaraderie... that doesn't exist in South Carolina from what I have experienced. This is the most depressing place I have cached - and mind you, I am FROM here! In this area cachers have a totally different attitude and the spirit of a caching community is practically dead... the cachers here are well, I can't even explain it. It's like their spirit has been robbed of them. All I have ever really experienced in South Carolina, when meeting cachers, is a lot of bitching about all the rules and regulations and apparently these cachers have been convinced that this "agreeement" is a law... hence Coyotecal trying to "school me" on the what the law is.... when it is just an "agreement" What is most offensive are people like Coyotecal, who lives cowardly behind a caching name with no personal info or caching stats!!

I realize that you are just the reviewer, but really... this debate over my cache is ridiculous. Although I do not want to do it, I will move it outside the fence if that will suffice. God forbid that we take away another thing that was put in place to educate South Carolinians!

~Pam

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So, with that, I wait for a response. I'm assuming it's going to get archived and if it does I think that will speak volumes of where geocaching is in South Carolina. I sit here and ask myself why am I surprised by this? South Carolina has always been stagnant and behind the times so why do I love this place so much and think of it as home when it makes me insane?? I mean, you can only buy alcohol (beer and wine only, mind you!) in stores on Sunday in Charleston County. They just got rid of mini-bottles in bars a couple of years ago and now allow fre-pour and they just legalized tattoos in 2004! Until then, we were the only State besides Oklahoma to dictate to people that they cannot legally get a tattoo! Isn't that nuts?

So, really... my geocache in a place of historical significance... a place I can PROMISE YOU that 99.9% of South Carolinians do not even know exists - a place where people SHOULD come visit - a grave of a person that most South Carolinians probably know nothing about BUT SHOULD!!! Yeah - we should probably keep EVERYONE from coming here - especially those pesky, Earth destroying geocachers!!

Gerald's and Coyotecal

Being that a long road trip to St. Louis is probably in my plans in the near future I decided to go to Gerald's Tires to check to see on what the problem is with my spare tire. Several months ago I backed up into the stupid light pole which is literally in the middle of the parking lot driveway. I have no idea why they couldn't put it in between the cars like they do in normal parking lots! Anway, I forgot it was behind me and BAM! I hit it. Since then the tire has leaked air and I wasn't sure if it was the the actual tire or the rim.

There are two Gerald's locations on Rivers Avenue so when I reached the closest one I noticed that the bays were full so I circled around a couple of times. I finally saw an open spot and parked my car. No sooner than I turned the car off a Gerald's worker came up to my window and said "You can't park here!" and I said that I was going to park in the other spot and that I had been circling around but someone else took it. He said "This spot is reserved for someone and you need to park in the parking lot over there and wait!" Wow. I had never been treated like this at Gerald's before!

I ALWAYS go to Gerald's because they will normally bend over backwards for their customers. They do a lot of things for free... tire rotations, plugs, check tire pressure, etc! AND if you are a lady and get any paid service they leave a rose on your seat - how sweet it that?

After my confrontation with this jerk I told him I would go elsewhere and had pretty much made the decision to never go to Gerald's again. I was already having a bad day and this confrontation made it worse. I drove up the road and happened to pass the other Gerald's location. They only had two customers so I decided to pull in and give them another chance. I told the guys what happened at the other location and they asked me who I talked to and unfortunately I never got a name.

I explained to this MUCH NICER Gerald's employee about what happened to my tire and he took it off and tested it. He was doing the submerging-it-in-water-trick and he called me over and showed me where the air was leaking. I asked him it was the tire or the rim and he said the rim. He pointed to the area where I hit the light pole and said "See here, all this corrosion? It's like your rim has cancer" - I paused and said "Ooh! Bad choice of words!" He gave me the name of a wheel and rim place and then checked my other tires. He said the tread is fine on my tires but for some reason the sides of my tires have dry rot and that I should replace them ASAP. Lovely - I wonder where that money is going to come from?!? He said that happens a lot with people who live near the ocean or where it snows. I told him that I must have hit the location lottery twice.

Just after I left Gerald's I received an email from geocaching.com. Some cacher named Coyotecal put in a request to have one of my geocaches's archived! What the hell!? The email read: "This cache is in a private cemetery. Cemetery caches are not permitted in South Carolina and this should be archived." I am so sick of these South Carolina geocachers and all of their uber-sensitive caching rules. I remember the days when caching was fun.

Since I was out on the road I couldn't really respond to the request properly so I tried to think of other things to keep my mind off of it, which was really hard to do! Once I got home I looked at Coyotecal's geocaching profile page just to see what his/her caching stats are and what gave them the right to be the geocaching police. Well... they didn't have any stats! They have been a member since 2008 but have no cache finds or hides. What is that all about? Do they have nothing better to do than harass people?

I was so mad that I went and deleted the log from my caching page. I knew that Brad, the cache reviewer, would still receive the archive request. About an hour later I get this post from Coyotecal on my cache page: "I'm not sure why my previous log was deleted. This cache is in a private cemetery. Cemetery caches are neither permitted by geocaching.com in South Carolina nor are they legal within the state (see SC Code of Laws (Criminal Code, Title 16, Crimes and Offenses) for illegal activities within a cemetery). Please archive this cache." Needless to say, I was livid!

I sent cache reviewer gpsfun/Brad an email:

Hi there!
I just received the notification that my cache 'Swamp Fox' GC266TY had a request for it to be archived due to it being in a private cemetery. As I stated when I listed the cache, it is NOT in the cemetery and that it is located on the edge of the park grounds next to the parking lot. The cemetery is fenced in and a good 100 - 200 feet away from the cache.

The person requesting the cache to be archived does not have a any cache finds or hides, but has been a member of geocaching.com since 2008. I think this person is a caching vigilante and I really have no idea what their problem is. It's obvious that they have never even been to the cache!

Anyway, I hope that you take all of this into consideration when you review the request to archive. I will happily supply photos of the cache location in regard to where the cemetery is located if need be.
Thanks, and happy caching!
~Pamela
aka skitpero

A couple of hours later I received his response:

Pam,
Thanks for your note.
It might be best for you to go ahead and send some photos of the cache location to me. When I reviewed your cache I depended on your note and the aerial photos, and the satellite imagery for that area is not crisp.

Thanks.
-Brad

Did you ever think geocaching was this serious??? Apparently in South Carolina it is!!! I have cached in many states and even in the U.K and have NEVER run into the problems I have in South Carolina. Some of my favorite caches in Ohio were what they called "spirit cache's", which are cache's located in cemeteries. Most of the geocachers I know are incredibly Earth friendly and would never dream of harming a cemetery or a nature preserve. There are even CITO events which stands for "cache in trash out" where cachers will converge on an area and spend several areas cleaning it. Also, a lot of us take those little 35mm film containers and put a plastic grocery bag in it. On the outside of the container we put a sticker that says something like "please use this bag to pick up trash on your way out, refill with another bag and drop in another cache" along with our caching name - I can honestly say that I have never seen one of these in a cache in South Carolina! Perhaps the S.C. cachers aren't as Earth friendly as those cachers I learned from in Ohio. Caching in South Carolina is so much worse than anywhere else I have cached and that is really sad.

The day that Robin and I placed the cache I took some photos, so I pulled them up and prepare them to send to Brad as my ammo. No one can ever say I went down without a fight!





Okay, the last photo I found on the internet, but I thought that it gave a pretty good illustration of where the cache was in regards to the cemetery. I deleted the Coyotecal "the caching vigilante's" post on my cache page again and I'm sure that will really piss him off.

I bet you can tell with all the arrows and stuff that this has really annoyed me (to say the least!) Now I'm just waiting to hear from Brad about what he is going to do with the cache. The cache reviewer has the final say.

In the meantime, I'm using my super-fantastic ninja-like investigating skills to found out exactly who this self-important, self-proclaimed geocaching police named Coyotecal is...

What a jerk!

Homegrown

One of the things I love about living in Charleston is that every year hometown boys (and one of my favorite bands!) Hootie and the Blowfish do a charity concert at the Family Circle Cup on Daniel Island. Whenever the time comes around you have to snag tickets pronto because it sells out almost immediately! We missed the pre-sale, but ended up getting decent seats the following day during the general sale. The concert benefits local schools and attendees are encouraged to bring school supplies for schools in need, which we always do. I heard that before the concert they also offered haircuts and dental check-ups for school children. How cool is that?

Before the show we met Samantha for dinner at Ali Baba. I had the chicken kabob, basmati rice, Mediterranean pasta and pita. This was our first time eating there and it was delicious! The pita bread was probably the best I have ever had! I wish I knew more about cooking Mediterranean food. A couple of days later I attempted to duplicate the pasta and think I came pretty close. Robin and I ate off of it for several days. Ziti, olive oil, feta, peppers, pasta, fresh basil, parsley, oregano and lemon juice = Yum!

After dinner we headed over to the arena, which is just across the street. We immediately bumped into my good friend Devin, who was photographing the event for Charleston's Post and Courier newspaper. He said that we needed to go get our seats so we wouldn't miss the opening band, Crowfield, who are locals about to make it big (or so I'm told). I was so bummed because I was tired and cranky and just wanted to see Hootie and go home! Devin assured me that I would not be disappointed.

Samantha has a really hard time climbing stairs since she was sick last year so we went to search for the elevator. We were told by security that it was at the end of the arena near the stage so we walked in that direction. When we got there we didn't see the elevator so we asked the next security guard and he said there was only one elevator and it was practically back stage and he couldn't let us go any further unsupervised. Huh? The Family Circle Tennis arena has only one elevator?? How is that possible? I asked him how they accommodate physically challenged people and he had no answer. He just said that he couldn't leave his post and that if we really needed to use the elevator we would have to go search for another security person to escort us. Wow. Shame on the Family Circle Cup Arena for having only one, inaccessible elevator for patrons!

After the whole elevator fiasco (yes, we found an escort) we grabbed our seats and waited for the show to begin.

(photo by Devin Grant)

Crowfield took the stage and I must say… Devin was right! Wow! They totally rocked. I was a little afraid of their wacky fans sitting in our section, mostly of this one girl with a homemade Crowfield t-shirt! She was all over the place and wouldn’t sit down. Pretty annoying. Actually, most of the people in the crowd were annoying. We were apparently sitting in the middle of the drunk and obnoxious section. Ugh. Samantha kept trying to give me some of her “stress tablets”. I finally took a couple just to get her to stop asking me to take some! (They didn’t help my crankiness!)

I loved Crowfield, but I don’t love their name. There is a subdivision in the town where I live called Crowfield and I jokingly asked if that’s where they live. They really could have picked a better name!

When we were watching Crowfield I was checking out all the members of the band and the first thing I thought was that the singer had the most amazing eyes but he had all this facial hair that I just couldn’t get past. I think I’m showing my age. I feel like an old lady thinking to myself “He’d be so handsome if he would just shave all that off!” I think I’m slowly turning into my Mom! Eeek!

When my attention turned to the side of the stage I did a double take! Holy cow! It was Jonathan from one of my all time favorite bands (who also happen to be local!) Jump, Little Children! They broke up several years ago and I miss them soooo much! I knew it was Jonathan, even from where we were sitting, because he was playing the upright bass and there was that trademark handlebar mustache! Devin was in front of the stage taking his photographs and I sent him a text message asking for a confirmation. I guess Jonathan is going to possibly be joining Crowfield as a permanent member!

I must say, it was nice seeing Hootie again... it has been a while! Last year, because of the rising popularity of Darius's solo career, the Homegrown concert was he and Dierks Bentley. I love Darius's solo stuff, but there's nothing like seeing a Hootie concert in Charleston!

Speaking of Charleston, Darius just released his new video for "Come Back Song" starring our lovely city!

I'm concerned that Darius is standing where the critters lurk! It must have been low tide... better him than me!

I am so lucky to live in such a beautiful place!

The Breaking Point

Tuesday afternoon I received a phone call from my oncologists office with the results of my 24-hour urine test. I guess I didn't study well enough because my levels were actually higher than we started off with. What the hell? When Donna (the nurse) told me this, it was my breaking point. She said that Dr. Clay wanted me to come in so we made an appointment for today (Thursday). After I hung up the phone I sat at my desk and had this sudden overwhelming rush of emotions and just broke down. Everything just hit me at once and it was one of those moments when you try to stop crying and that just makes it so much worse.

I emailed Jackie and told her the news and said that I was done. I didn't want to go through this urine test again and that it was too much dealing with all this cancer crap myself when I am trying to deal with my Uncle and Grandfather being sick. No sooner than I hit "send" on the email my phone rang. It was Jackie. She told me that I really needed to do this test again and I repeated that I was done. I was still crying and just hung up the phone.

Next thing I know Tom, my boss, was in my office. He came up behind me and said "how's it going?" and I replied "my project or my day?" and he said "your day" and I said my day has been crappy. He asked if I needed to walk away for a bit and I said that I just needed to focus on my job to keep my mind off things and that I was just having a "moment". He asked if I needed to go home and I said no... I would be okay. I told him what was happening and next thing I know I have Felicia, Jackie and Clancey in my office! I guess Jackie rounded up the troops for an intervention.

They started in about how important it is that I go through with the test and get the radiation. My point was that cancer runs rampant in my family so what was the point? It will probably just come back in some other part of my body... did they not get it? I was told a MILLION times that thyroid cancer was "the best kind" of cancer so what's the problem? What if I am in the middle of radiation and in my 5-day quarantine and I get "the call" about my Grandfather and I can't go because I'm radioactive? That would devastate me. I told them they just had no idea what I was going through. I was emotionally exhausted and this phone call was the proverbial straw.

I told them that I really wanted one of those shirts that says "Fuck Cancer" - I looked at Tom and said "Would I be able to wear that to work?" and he said he didn't have a problem with it, but others might. Damn! That made me laugh.

After the "intervention posse" left my office I went back to work and tried to keep my mind off of it all, which was pretty impossible.

This morning I called Dr. Clay's office and canceled my appointment because I didn't see the point of going. I told the receptionist to please have the nurse mail me an order for another 24-hour urine test and I would do it in a couple of weeks. About an hour later I get a call from nurse Donna asking me what was going on. I told her that I thought it would be a waste of time because I already know what the doctor is going to say. It would be a waste of a trip, I would have to make up time at work tomorrow since I have no PTO and that it would be another $30 copay (which I really didn't have) for something that I already know. She said that was fine but she wanted me to keep a food journal for a week and then email it to her. Oh great. That sounds fun. I told her that I would and she said that she would review it with the dietitian and get back to me.

A couple hours later I get another phone call - this time from Dr. Clay. I knew I was in trouble then. Dr. Clay is super nice - I told her that I was absolutely devastated when the nurse called me with the results the other day and that on top of what is going on in my family it was just too much to handle. She said she wanted to reiterate how important this radiation is and that she was worried about me. She said that she had never had a patient whose iodine level actually increased from test to test. I asked her what the level should be and she said she likes patients to be around 50, but would go ahead and do the radiation at a level of 100. She went on to say that my initial level was 332 and my second level was 583. How could this be??

We went over the changes I made in my diet and she suggested calling my pharmacist to ask if any of my meds could elevate my iodine levels. She said it could even be the difference between a generic and a name brand prescription. Unbelievable.

It seems that for the last couple of years I have been telling myself that there has to be a light at the end of the tunnel and I keep pushing on in search of it. Last night I made plans to go have dinner with an old classmate this evening but decided to take a rain check. I am definitely not good company right now. Currently, the negative in my life outweighs the positive and I don't like times like this and I especially don't want to burden others with my problems. I just need to be by myself for a bit.

When I finally left work today all I wanted to do was to go to the beach to just sit and be by myself. After careful thought I decided to just go home and crawl under my covers. It seemed the wiser thing to do rather than waste precious gas money.

Sleep is the only time that all of this is not weighing heavily on my mind.

Agnes of Glasgow... and other stuff

Last night I went out to dinner with my dear friend Rob, his partner Steven, their son Kofi and the newest addition to their wonderful family little baby Gil! They were in town to introduce the baby to Rob's family and I was lucky enough to be able to spend some time with them!

We decided to meet at Saffron for dinner, which I had not been to in a couple of months. When I walked in I immediately noticed they had completely remodeled. The new design for the dining room was wide open and not as cozy as it used to be. Kofi had a great time testing out his vocal range with all the echoes that the new wide open space provided! After we were seated the server gave us menu's and after a long wait someone else came over and said the previous girl had given us the wrong menu's. It was a little annoying since we had already decided what we wanted from the former menu! I felt bad since the service we were getting wasn't that great and I'm the one that suggested the place!

After finally getting our orders situated we tried to catch up as much as we can, which is pretty hard to do with a very active toddler! Rob and Steven told me all about baby Gil's adoption process and the difficulties with the birth mother, the hospitals, physicians and social workers in Texas. What an overwhelming ordeal to go through! I'm so glad it finally worked out for them and now they can just focus on the being the fabulous family that they are!

For some reason, Rob didn't know about my whole cancer ordeal so I told him about all of that. They asked about my Mom's house and probate and I told them that I finally got a letter from the attorney's office stating the house is now officially out of foreclosure (yay!) but that my sister Janine has apparently been at the probate office raising hell and saying that I have not handled the estate properly. Oddly enough, she has never asked me for any details or any receipts, copies of insurance policies... nothing. I'd be glad to show her so she won't have to speculate, but I think she feels that she will somehow convince probate that I am evil. The sad thing is that she has no clue that I have to file all the receipts and account for everything with them, proving again, what an idiot she is.

The last thing I had to do was get Janine to sign the "receipt and release" form and I was done with all of the things I was responsible for with probate. According to Traci, Janine told her "I'm not signing anything!" so that's what I filed at the probate office. There was no way they could formally close probate because two of my Mom's creditors have filed liens on the house because I refused (and not that I could afford it) to pay. I figure that when the house is sold they can have their money, though I'm not sure when that will be! I hope they have some time on their hands. At least I don't have to worry about probate/estate paperwork, deadlines, extensions and all of that hoopla anymore!

Robin and I are finally on the mend health-wise. She still has a serious cough and horrible sinus pressure. We have been through every remedy we can think of and every prescription the doctor can give us... I think I actually have 2-3 different prescription nasal sprays! Our last resort for Robin was to get a Neti Pot. I picked one up for her last night on the way home. She did one application and wasn't impressed so I said she must be doing it wrong! I went into the bathroom with her and administered another treatment, which she said got a little deeper into the nasal cavity. I have never actually used the Neti Pot - I normally use a little baby nasal aspirator and make my own solution involving 8 oz. warm water, 1/4 tsp. salt and 1/4 tsp. of baking soda. The nasal aspirator shoots the water into your sinus instead of the gentle pouring that the Neti pot provides. I'm all about aggressive sinus therapy! I think we will have Robin try that next!

I thought today I would find out the results of my 24-hour urine test that I did last week. I really tried to watch the iodine/salt intake for the last couple of weeks so my iodine level would decrease, but it's relly one of the hardest "diets" that you can go on since most foods are overly processed and contain incredible amounts of sodium. If you don't make everything natural it will probably be bad for you. Even if you cook meat... what are you putting on it? Have you really read that label? Even plain spinach and broccoli has a lot of sodium. How is that possible?

I managed to stop drinking soda and tea and made small changes in my diet to lessen my salt intake. I really hope that it helps and we can finally schedule the radiation.

While thinking about this whole radiation situation I have been wondering if I should actually put it off for a while. I received this email from my Aunt Peggy on Friday:

We came home early from our vacation because Chuck got sick. We got home Thurs at 9am went straight to the 24/7 clinic at Siteman. They did a blood test and swab of his nose and throat to see if he got a virus from the plan. His blood work looked good so far. The swab will not be back til over the weekend. They are suppose to call with that. They gave him fluids coz he was probably dehydrated, he had lost 6 pounds from the previous week. He is sleeping a lot and is now on penicillin so hopefully that helps him feel better. But, that is not why I am writing. Ralph had his brain scan and abdominal scan yesterday and the doctor called them last nite at 7. His cancer is more aggressive and has spread to his brain and abdomen. They have given him weeks instead of months and have suggested Hospice. I talked to Mil this morning and she wants me to call the doctor and arrange it. I called the doctors office and am waiting for them to call back. I want to try to get the same nurse that mom had she was wonderful. I wanted to let you all know where things stand. Ralph is in denial and does not want to give up his keys to the car. We are going to try to get up there tomorrow, to help Mil convince him to do so. Will keep you updated when we find anything out. Love Peggy

So, the cancer has progressed in Grandpa and his prognosis is now weeks instead of months. When I got the email I was stunned. My friend Duste had just come to visit from Columbia, SC so she really helped me keep my mind off of the situation, however, the next morning Robin and I were waking up and it was the first thing I thought of. No matter how hard I tried the tears kept coming. I just can't believe what my family has been through and continues to go through. We laid there for a while and said nothing while I cried. Fortunately, Robin has a wonderfully strong shoulder that doesn't mind getting a little (a lot!) wet.

Now, I've got the dilemma of having my radiation scheduled and the fact that I have to be in quarantine for 5 days and can't leave my room, scares me a bit. I hate to say "Gee, can we wait until after my Grandfather passes away to do this?" Also, my rockin' friend Duste said she we can borrow her truck to take it to Ohio to go get my stuff! We planned to do that on Labor Day weekend... There is just so much stuff up in the air right now and I have no idea where all the pieces are going to fall. I'm afraid to plan, I'm afraid to stray too far from home... I wish I were closer to my family in Illinois right now.

Going back to dinner conversation last night when I was telling Rob what was happening in my life I started thinking to myself "listen to yourself... everything in your life is so negative and unhappy right now... this IS what is happening but it's so sad... when does it get better?" I am so looking forward to a day when I don't have stories like this to tell regarding my normal, everyday happenings. Trying to remain happy and positive in a reality like this is so draining.

Robin and I did manage to get out for a bit a couple of weekends ago. We drove up to Camden, S.C. for one of my crazy adventures. Of course it rained the whole day, but we tried to make the best of it.

For over a decade I've wanted to visit Agnes... Agnes of Glasgow, that is! I have no idea where I first heard the story but it has always intrigued me:

Agnes of Glasgow (1760–1780) is a woman of American folklore, but nonetheless was in fact a real person. Born in Glasgow, Scotland, Agnes followed her lover, Lt. Angus McPherson, who was a British Army officer, to America during the American Revolution. She stowed away on a ship bound from England to America, arriving in Charleston, South Carolina. Believing his unit was assigned near Camden, in Kershaw County, South Carolina, and having heard that he may have been wounded, she wandered through towns and the wilderness hoping to make contact with him or someone who knew him. However, she became ill and died before she could find him. She was buried under cover of darkness by Wateree American Indian King Haigler, who had befriended her. Local legend maintains that she searches for her lover still, and that her ghost haunts the "Old Quaker Cemetery" where she was buried, and the surrounding wooded area to present day. The legend is such that it has received media attention in South Carolina, as well as ghost hunters from around the country. Local historians confirm that the British Army did arrive in Camden during that year, but since it is not known as to which month Agnes died, it is not possible to know if they were in Camden at the time of her death. Yes! I love this story and I've always wanted to find her grave to pay respect, so that's exactly what I did. I know Robin thinks I'm nuts to drive almost three hours to see a tiny little grave, but my curiosity always seems to win.






After paying our respects to Agnes we explored Camden a bit. I had never been there so we wandering aimlessly was the plan. We saw a couple of fun things...

Who doesn't love a random mural?

The kitties are watching you.

Hidden in the bushes on a residential street.

We also stumbled upon a Revolutionary War site that was ours alone for the day, it seemed!:

The Kershaw-Cornwallis House was originally built in 1777.
It was reconstructed in 1977.

I wish we had more time to explore the area, but unfortunately we left the house quite late and after this little bit of sightseeing it was starting to get dark. There are still several other places around the area that I want to visit so I guess we'll have to go back!!

I guess I need to take "Visit Agnes" off the bucket list now!

Found Friends

Through the magic of Facebook I recently reconnected with my long-lost elementary school friend, Jennifer. Jen and I had not spoken to or seen each other in almost 30 years! We both attended Mary Morrisson Elementary School and Fitch Junior High School in Groton, Connecticut. When I moved from Groton in 1981-82 to Washington State we lost touch and through the years I have looked for her to no avail.

On Facebook I ended up connecting with several friends from that period in time and while looking through a mutual friends contact list I saw her name and asked that friend if it was the same Jen - it was! I was so excited since I had been looking for her for so long!

After months of emailing and catching up, this past weekend Jen and her boyfriend Chris came to Charleston from Georgia for a visit and to see the Smashing Pumpkins in concert. We had so much fun reminiscing and talking about our younger, carefree days of rollerskating and playing kick the can! Fun times!

THEN

AND NOW

My, how we have changed!

Diagnosis: Strep

I woke up this morning with the intention of going to work. Though I don't remember it, I even took a shower. After my shower I collapsed into bed, wrapped myself up in the down comforter and set my alarm. The shower had physically exhausted me. Next thing I know, an hour later I'm still wrapped up in the down comforter with the towel still on my wet hair calling my boss and telling him that there is no way I can come in. Thankfully he was pretty sympathetic.

For the past couple of nights Robin has been sleeping on the couch because her coughing fits are horrendous and keep me up at night. Neither of us have worked since last week and we are both getting stir crazy from being in the house. We both called our doctors and made appointments to be seen today. My doctor was out of town so I made an appointment with one of his colleague's at 3pm. Robin was luckier and got a 10am appointment. I stayed in bed until she returned from her appointment with the lovely diagnosis of strep throat. Ugh.

I pretty much slept until my appointment. Who knew that a person could actually sleep this much? It's unreal! As soon as I headed out to my appointment I was so grumpy because it was downpouring and we were having a lightning storm. I despise driving in the rain, anyway. I was lethargic and lightheaded... I have no idea how I drove myself across town and back. When I walked into the office the receptionist handed me a face mask to put on. I said "do I seriously have to wear this?" and she said yes. It doesn't really make sense since I touched many things in the office during my visit. I used the bathroom, their pen and so on. The mask was uncomfortable and when you are having a hard time breathing in the first place you really don't want something covering your face to further suffocate you! As soon as I got to the exam room it was off!

The doctor I saw was very cut and dry with little personality. She asked questions, I answered them, she examined me and then she left. When she came back she told me that I have strep throat and gave me some prescriptions and a work excuse and I was on my way. When I went to the check I really wanted to poke the girl that "helped" me in the eye. She was chit-chatty with one of those ding-dong sounding Southern accents... not your classic Charleston accent, but the kind you find in the very deep woods where the moonshine is. I gave her my copay and she said I had $25 balance. I made the mistake of asking her what it was from since I always pay my copay (which is actually only $20) and she started to go find someone so I could discuss it with. Really? I was about to pass out and all I could think about was getting back to bed - NOT discussing my medical bill. I told her I would pay it on my follow up visit in two weeks and she said she would note that I said that. Um, okay... I guess she thought I was going to skip out of town! She must be new.

On the drive home I stopped at Chick-fil-A and got a diet lemonade, which I couldn't even taste! No, really.... I couldn't taste it! I tried but it tasted like nothing! So sad since I LOVE their diet lemonade. I never really trust the Chick-fil-A when I get the lemonade, though. The diet and the regular lemonade taste similar so I always wonder if I'm drinking the wrong one. It's sooo sweet and soooo tasty! Today I was seriously parched and just wanted to feel the cold on my throat. The whole way home I chewed on the ice and it felt so good!

I stopped by the pharmacy to fill my prescriptions and all I could think about was getting back in bed. While waiting for my "15 minute guaranteed" prescription fill I thought about getting some chocolate. I was going to get some Sour Patch Kids, which I love, but opted to get gummi worms instead (no, they are not on my diet, but this is a special situation!) I didn't want to eat chocolate and have it be a total waste of caloric intake since I can't actually taste anything I eat. What I really wanted were Fun Bugs. I haven't been able to find them in South Carolina and it makes me a little sad. I'm a fan of pretty much all gummi candies but Fun Bugs are the bomb! I used to get them at the Wal Mart in Ohio. They had them in small packages at the checkout. They are little bug shaped gummi candies with a juicy inside. I LOVE Fun Bugs!! Apparently they have a website for bulk ordering! This could be trouble!

I guess I will have to wait on my Fun Bug order after I have financially recovered from taking three days off this week. It's all without pay since the remainder of my PTO was sucked up during the first week of my cancer treatment. The next couple of weeks will be hard. We'll have to find some fun and inexpensive things to do! Perhaps the weather will cool down and we can break the bikes out for a ride downtown when we feel better. All I know that I have one more day to be cooped up in this house. It's making me insane!

Super-Fast St. Louis Trip!

We decided to take a quick trip to St. Louis last weekend and came back with some unplanned cooties on board. Both Robin and I have been sick since returning early Wednesday morning. Robin was the first to get the tell-tale symptoms of a cold and I didn't really feel it full-on until Friday morning.

Robin went to work on Friday and ended up coming home early. As I worked I could feel the cold creeping up on me and when I came home around 4pm I hit the sack. We were miserable all weekend and I didn't leave the house until Sunday night when we went to get some NyQuil and Mucinex at CVS (a car trip Robin doesn't even remember!) On Saturday, Robin went to the grocery store to get some vegetables for chicken noodle soup. I think I ate that and grilled cheese all weekend and nothing else. Those grilled cheese sandwiches were soooo good. Robin bought that really soft, chewy white bread... the kind we NEVER buy. We usually buy the whole wheat Arnold bread. The bread Robin bought reminded me of my childhood and the Bunny Bread brand that my Grandma used to buy. Soooooo goood, but so bad for you! Those always make perfect grilled cheese! It's a good thing they don't make Bunny Bread in South Carolina!

I really needed to sleep well before going back to work today so I took the meds and went to sleep around 11pm. At 7am Robin came in and asked if she could get me anything and I said I needed to get ready for work. She said there is no way I could go to work since what we have is contagious (everyone in Illinois is sick!) so I called in and again, laid on the couch all day... still miserable. I did manage to shower (since I hadn't since Friday morning!) Although a little cleaner, all it did was make me feel hot. Hopefully I will feel better (fingers crossed) by tomorrow morning.

Our trip to St. Louis was only a couple weeks in the planning. In June I received an email from my Aunt telling me that she had just returned from a doctors appointment with my Grandfather. It appears that Grandpa's cancer has returned and it's in his lungs. Having seen his brother, three sons, brother-in-law, both wives, daughter-in-law and his grandchild (me!) go through cancer treatments he has decided to forgo radiation and chemotherapy. Based on that decision, Grandpa has been given a prognosis of 3 to 12 months. It's been a little over a year since I have seen my Illinois family so Robina and I planned a trip for the 4th of July holiday weekend.

My Jeep is in need of new tires and has high mileage on it so we decided to take Robin's Miata for the 13-hour drive. Things were fine until we hit the mountains of North Carolina where, out of nowhere, it was bumper-to-bumper standstill traffic. We had no idea what was happening, but for the next three hours we inched through the mountains - all of us narrowed down to one lane! We didn't find out until we returned home to Charleston that there was a rock slide down part of the mountain that blocked some lanes. It was dark, but I didn't see any indication of a rock slide... just sayin'!

Road trip pit stop for cider and boiled peanuts.

We finally arrived in Maryville around 7:30am and everyone was fast asleep so we let ourselves in. Later, we woke up around 11am to start the day.

Still sleepy, I called my Uncle and Aunt to let them know we arrived okay and then called Grandpa and Mil to see when they wanted to have lunch. We didn't want to bog ourselves down with an itinerary. I wanted to see everyone, but there is never time enough to make all the stops I'd like to make on a quick weekend trip like this... besides, my priority was seeing Grandpa. We made lunch plans for the following day and then headed out for the day. First stop was lunch - we were starving!

I decided I wanted to take Robin to Lotawata Creek, which is one of my favorite restaurants. I don't think I ever noticed before that Lotawata touts itself as a Southern restaurant. I was looking at the menu this past weekend and still have no idea why... where are the collards and okra?? When Robin and I discussed it she said she thinks it's because they fry a lot of their food. Haha! I suppose that is a misconception of what Southern food is. I decided that they don't exactly define WHICH "Southern" part of the States they are representing since they have a little bit of everything, including Cajun. Wouldn't that be considered Southern, also?? Anyway, I don't care what they call themselves! Lotawata Creek's food is so tasty that we ate there twice during the weekend. Robin fell in love with their rolls so much that we stopped there before heading home to buy some. You should have seen us stuffing rolls in every crevice in that tiny Miata with all that luggage!! I wish they would open a location in Charleston!!

This is how ice should be done in EVERY restaurant!
I think Robin had a private moment when she saw this.

Don't remember what it was called... but it was GOOD!

After lunch, we somehow ended up at the mall. My cousin, who will go unnamed on this issue, apparently wears fake toenails on her big toes because she feels that her big toe-toenails are "ugly". Ummmm, what? I had no idea that fake toe-toenails even existed. Who wears those??? They are FEET! Just paint those beastly things and call it a day. Really, no one is looking unless they have a foot fetish and odds are, a person with a foot fetish will probably like funky looking toes. Wow. So... Robin and I walked around the mall a bit and wasted time while the damaged fake toenail was repaired.

On our mall excursion we found something amazing!

A Hurricane Simulator Machine!!

I suppose this is what people in the Midwest do since they don't have hurricanes. We were going to get in it and give it a whirl for $2, but we overheard a small child tell his friend that the winds inside weren't as powerful as they used to be. Bummer.

We also found a new hat for me that I could wear on the ride home with the top down. After a couple of hours my hair blowing around really gets on my nerves!

Oscar the Grouch. I think it suits me.

Later in the evening we decided to head over to St. Louis for a drive around the city. We went to Forest Park and parked at the Grand Basin and St. Louis Art Museum, which I have always thought was beautiful.




We took a long walk around the Grand Basin and knew the next day was going to long one so we headed home.

The following day we met Grandpa and Mil at their house and headed out for lunch at the Golden Corral (their choice.) Grandpa has lost so much weight and is walking with a cane that I was unsure of how he was going to maneuver around the buffet. I asked him if he needed some help but he said he was good to go. Once everyone had their food Denise and I started talking about old memories of growing up and going over Grandpa and Grandma's house... How Grandpa would get mad at us for kicking the white rocks out of his landscaped bushes, how Grandma used to warn us about getting near Grandpa's garden, how we used to freak out when the wiffle ball was hit too close to the garden, Grandma's macaroni and cheese, the scary basement in their house, how mad Grandpa used to get when he would hit an old Easter egg in the yard that we didn't find, family picnics, fighting over who would carry Grandpa's lunch box up the hill when he pulled in the driveway... Most of the time Grandpa was just laughing to himself and looking down. It was a good lunch.

We went back to Mil and Grandpa's house and Mil gave us a grand tour (which I have had numerous times!) until we finally had to leave since we had plans with Uncle Chuck and Peggy. It was so heartbreaking just walking to the car. I remember leaving Grandma in her Hospice bed after saying goodbye to her and it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I didn't want this trip to be sad like that. I went there knowing it was probably going to be the last time I saw my Grandfather although I pretend that it is not and pray that I am wrong.


After visiting Grandpa we headed over to Uncle Chuck and Peggy's house. The original plan was to visit for a couple of hours and then head over to St. Louis to see the B-52's preform at Fair St. Louis and then watch the 4th of July fireworks over the Mississippi River. During our visit we basically decided to get something to eat and skip the 4th of July festivities. Family is way more important than seeing the B-52's, right?

Upon deciding to get dinner we went to several restaurants around the area and found that they were closed. I guess they all assumed that family BBQ's and Fair St. Louis were going to take all the business so they closed. We went back to Uncle Chucks and ordered pizza and chatted for a couple of hours.

The next day Robin and I decided to have as ours and I wanted to take her to several places in St. Louis that I thought she should experience. I really wanted to make it to the Zoo since it's one of the most amazing I have been to (and free!) but there just wasn't enough time in the day to fit it all in. We started off the day by going to Laumeier Sculpture Park.

Laumeier is a place that I've always wanted to go, but for some reason never made it out to. Before we explored the park we stopped at White Castle for lunch. Robin has never had White Castle (we don't have them in South Carolina) so I thought she should have that experience. She didn't care for it much and that made me a little sad since it was something I had while growing up. She said it was probably something that you need when you are really drunk and need to sober up. I said "Yep" because really, she's right.

When we got to Laumeier the sun was blazing hot. We walked around for about 10 minutes and I was already extremely uncomfortable in the heat. I tried to push on and we made it around the main part of the park and I was melting. When we got to the huge eyeball it was a total meltdown, including crying. I don't feel well when it happens, the heat attacks are out of control and I feel and look awful when it is happening. It's extremely uncomfortable. Robin went to the car and got the towel and the leftover drink we had from White Castle and it helped a little. I sat for a bit and cooled down before moving on. We didn't even get to see the childrens sculpture garden. We definitely need to go back when the weather is cooler. It's such a neat and magical place!






From Laumeier we drove over to Cathedral Basilica St. Louis, which is a place I will never tire of visiting! When Robin and I visited the Cathedral at Duke University she said that before dating me she never visited large churches like that. As soon as she said that I thought of Cathedral St. Louis! I couldn't wait to show her! Each time I go there I stare in amazement at the mosaic ceiling. It's just breathtaking!

Love, love, love this place!!

The day was getting shorter so we headed downtown to the Gateway Arch. After parking and getting our tickets to the top we realized our wait to go to the top was almost three hours! Gawd! To pass the time we wandered around the small museum under the Arch and saw the same stuffed buffalo that my Mom made a big deal about 40 or so years ago... you know, city girl from Boston had never seen a buffalo before! How crazy is it that they still have that thing!

We ended up sitting on some long couch-like benches that were unfortunately made of wood for a couple of hours. Not comfy at all!

Finally, it was our time to head to the top and sadly, the long wait and ride to the top is something I kind of regret. It was awful. I have been to the Arch MANY times and this is not the first impression I wanted Robin to have. The wait was long, the top was incredibly overcrowded and well, it was just gross and filthy. The windows were so disgustingly saturated with fingerprints and muck. Gross. At one point, as we were looking out the windows, this overwhelming and nauseating stench of body odor surrounded us. I covered my mouth and nose and looked at Robin who nodded in the other direction as she covered her face. It was a whole family... I won't even go on to describe them. It was just an unpleasant experience overall and I was so sorry that had to be Robin's first (and probably last) visit to the St. Louis Arch!!

Top of the Arch... doesn't this look like fun??

After the stink-fest at the Arch we were beat. We headed back across the river and back to Denise's. The next morning we were heading home and needed much rest. After dinner and dessert we went to bed and headed back the next day and made a pit stop to see Superman and Big John's in Metropolis, IL. They sure do love their Superman there!!

Who wouldn't shop at a grocery store with gigantic grocery clerk outside?

The Superman Superstore!

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The Superman Superstore has EVERYTHING that a Superman fan would ever need or want, although they were out of the black tank tops in my size! Oh well... maybe next time we're traveling through town!

(To my friends and other family members that I couldn't see, I'm terribly sorry! Hopefully we can hook up next time we are in town! XOXO)