Thyroidectomy and Country Music

I went for my biopsy follow-up yesterday. While waiting to be roomed I sat there thinking about the last year. Since I turned 40 I feel like I've slowly been falling apart. Aches, pains, high blood pressure, gaining weight... the list goes on. Last year I decided to at least be a better diabetic. Well, this really only entails my taking the medication the doctor prescribed, but that's a start, right?

Each morning at work I take out my little purple pill holder that Robin fills each week with all of my prescriptions. We've got a diabetic pill, 2 glucosomine and chondroitin OTC horse pills, blood pressure pill, cholesterol pill, a pill that keeps me from killing people... I think there's one more but I can't think of it right now. I put the pills on my desk as my morning ritual and Clancy (the girl that sits behind me) usually says something like "Dang, girl! What are you?? 80??" I complain about all the prescriptions daily as I hate taking pills. I was totally non-compliant for the longest time. I'm trying to be better about being compliant. I'm trying to be well.

I was finally put in an exam room after an hour and a half wait. I think the room was actually made for children because it had this God awful mural in it. It's a jungle scene with a monkey... the monkey has a purse for his bananas. That amused me.

When Dr. McNellis finally came in we talked about the nodule and my biopsy results. I asked him how he went from the nodule in the back of my neck to my thyroid. The connection didn't make sense to me. He told me that the nodule is something to watch carefully but from what the CT said it isn't big enough to cause worry... yet. He said when they did the CT he saw the calcifications in my thyroid and that is why he ordered the biopsy. He said they were big enough to see and that was a concern.

The cells from the biopsy were atypical which, of course, is not normal. He said that he could do more invasive studies but what he recommends is to do a partial thyroidectomy so we will not have to worry about it in the future. During the procedure he will take the thyroid and do a frozen biopsy of it while I am still under. If the pathologist says it's cancer he will then take the other half out. He explained that if it's only one half I can live without taking any additional medications, however, if they take the whole thing out I will have to take something along the lines of synthroid as well as calcium for the rest of my life.

I kind of knew that this was going to be the news I would hear today so I wasn't really freaked out. He said recovery time would be 4-7 days and that I should plan to stay overnight in the hospital but he may surprise me and send me home. I've never stayed (as a patient) overnight in the hospital so this will be a new experience for me. We scheduled the surgery for April 5th at St. Francis.

*******************************************
This past weekend was a clash of cultures! Friday night we had tickets to see Henry Rollins. I was really looking forward to this since I've long admired him but have never seen him live. For the past several years he's been doing spoken word. The show was absolutely intense and nothing short of amazing. In the words of my good friend, Devin:

he basically came out at 8:15pm, stepped up to the mike, and started talking, and didn't stop ... until almost 11pm. He didn't take a sip of water, barely paused between subjects, which went from American history, to the differences in the grasp of the English language between Obama and Bush (one of my fave quotes of the night was that Obama "speaks in perfect, upppercase Hellvetica font), to why he hates Thanksgiving and texting, to being friends with William SHatner, to seeing the punk band Bad Brains for the first time, to starring in the TV series Son of Anarchy, to traveling the world. He bounced around subjects like a pinball, and the nearly three hours flew by. It was one of the more amazing performances I've seen onstage, music or otherwise. He also keeps it very democratic. For instance, he obviously doesn't like Rush Limbaugh, but he definitely stands up for the guy's right to be on the radio, no matter what he says. He is totally against racism and most other isms, but he plays a white supremacist on Sons of Anarchy, and explained why he chose to do so.

Devin, me, Robin, Steven (Robin's brother) and Karen

Devin is a freelance writer and his official review of Rollins was in Charleston Scene's online edition as well a fabulous photo by your truly! Did you see that photo credit? I'm a star!!

On Saturday night it was, well... totally different from Friday! We had an offer for free concert tickets to see Brad Paisley and Miranda Lambert at the coliseum. I knew that Robin really liked Paisley (and country music) so I agreed to go. I've never been a big country fan. There are a few country artists that I enjoy like Darius Rucker (Duh, I live in Charleston!) and Sugarland. The only country concert that I've seen was outside at the fairgrounds. It was redneck land from hell.

After parking in BFE we made it inside to find out that we had amazing seats! We were in the 4th row just above the risers. The crowd was very into their country thing and I very much felt like a minority. I'm glad we weren't in a section where people were being obnoxious. It was actually a pretty laid back section because of the location of the seats. We could either stand or sit and either way we had a great view. I enjoyed both shows, especially Miranda Lambert. I really liked her hair... I'm thinking of getting a cut now!


I was really surprised at the production that went into Paisley's show. I think most of the time he was preforming I was watching the videos on the big screens behind him!


This coming weekend my friend Jimmy is coming to visit from Greenville. Saturday night we are going to Hyman's (his request) and then to The Treehouse reunion at Club Pantheon. The Treehouse was a club in Charleston that we practically lived at about 15 years ago. Back then I worked a 4-12pm shift and would bring a change of clothes with me. After my shift I would make a quick change and head out. After a night of dancing we would go for breakfast and sometimes head to the beach to watch the sun rise. This was practically every night! There's no way I could do that these days. I'm really looking forward to hearing the old tunes from the club - DJ Jesse is spinning! as well as seeing some familiar faces!

Results and Ticks

Monday morning I called the Dr. McNellis’s office to see if they had my biopsy results and I was told that the doctor would be in surgery all day and would not be able to review the results until the following day. I was pretty anxious so I pulled a favor from Dr. Eads, my former boss, who is now my primary care doctor. I knew that Dr. Eads could get the report so I decided to email him. I would have made a call to his office but the last months events were way too much to relay through a receptionist! The problem was I lost his email address ages ago so I decided to send him a Facebook message to let him know what was happening. I followed my email up by asking him if there was a CPT code for a Facebook consult, which I’m sure he found amusing.

Dr. Eads knows my family history and probably knew I was a little freaked out by the whole situation. I didn’t hear from him that afternoon, nor did I hear from McNellis’s office so I called them on my way home and was told “You know, the doctor is really busy seeing patients.” Having run a medical practice I’m well aware of how it all works, but I also know that after my CT scan at this practice I NEVER received a call with my results so I had no problem with being persistent.

The next morning I received a call from Dr. Eads with the “unofficial” test results. He told me that all the samples were benign but there is still a slight chance (10%) that cancer cells may exist deep within the calcification. He said that surgery was probably inevitable but of course that was Dr. McNellis’s call. He also said there might be a chance of McNellis ordering a more invasive biopsy. Ugh. I felt much better after hearing this, but was still really aggravated that I was hearing this from Dr. Eads and not Dr. McNellis. I think I much prefer a physician that is patient satisfaction driven and not numbers driven!

Later in the afternoon I called Mcnellis’s office again and was told that he STILL has not had a chance to review my results. I was really thankful for Dr. Eads because at this point I would have been going nuts not knowing what was happening. Dr. McNellis knows nothing about the high rate of cancer in my family, but that shouldn’t even be a factor. What if it really was something serious and needed urgent attention?

On Wednesday afternoon I called Dr. McNellis’s office for the fourth time. The nurse got on the phone and said “Oh, he JUST gave me your chart. The cells in the specimen were a-typical and no cancer was present and he wants me to schedule a follow-up for you to come in and discuss surgery options.” Now, really? How difficult was that? It probably took him two seconds to look at my chart and make that decision.

On Monday, the 8th of March I have an appointment scheduled with his office for allergy testing so I made my follow-up for Wednesday, the 10th so we can discuss the allergy test results as well as possible surgery. I am not really excited at the thought of surgery but I will do what I have to do to not suffer like some of my family has.

*******************************************

This morning I woke up to get ready for work and while taking a shower I felt something a little unusual where the bottom of your butt meets the upper inside of your thigh (if that makes sense!) … almost in what Robin would refer to as your “bathing suit area” At first I thought it was a large pimple and scratched it. When I looked at what I scratched off it was black and a little bloody. Ew! It was a freakin’ tick! I felt again to see if I got it all but really couldn’t tell. I finished my shower and sent Robin a text message telling her to hurry home from work! Next, I called my boss with probably the most insane call-in ever! I told her I would be a little late because of my “situation!”

I took a nap so I wouldn’t have to think about the thing still being inside of me and Robin arrived a little after 8am. After an up-close inspection Robin said I got the whole thing out and the hole was still very angry. Also, I guess the tick was a little picky because it bit three different places until it found the tastiest spot.

I have no idea where the tick came from since we haven’t been in the woods this week. Robin had one on her last week (very close to her front bathing suit area) but that was right after a day of geocaching. I can only assume that when I let the dogs out at 4am this morning (they woke me up!) Lucas brought one in with him. He always sleeps under the covers with us so I’m thinking he jumped off of him and on to me. I think we need to have a conference with him to let him know that he needs to leave his “friends” outside where they belong!

Full Moon

What a lazy weekend!

I took Friday off because I was experiencing a lot of tenderness in my throat from the biopsy as well as a massive headache. I felt bad because we had plans that evening to go to Bowen's Island with some of Robin's friends and I just wasn't feeling up to it. I tried to get her to go without me, but she wouldn't budge. To be honest, I'm a little afraid to go to Bowen's Island... have you seen the pictures? Interesting! Supposedly they have fantastic seafood - the best around, but you know, even though I grew up on the coast I've never had a taste for it. I always have people telling me that I just haven't had it the right way, but believe me... I've tried!

This was Robin's weekend to work so we lounged around for most of it. She worked Friday and Saturday and had today off so we slept in and then did some caching. It's starting to get warmer and and warmer so the little critters will be starting to come out - especially the slithery kind! We need to do all the caches in the woods before Spring hits so we don't have any unexpected encounters!

I think I'm ready to start placing caches now and have been trying to think of some interesting and cool places to put them. I emailed Mayor Heitzler and told him a bit about geocaching and said that I hoped he could grant me permission to place some caches in some of the historical places in Goose Creek as well as a request for ideas he might have for cache locations. We'll see what he says!

On the way home tonight after caching Robin pointed out the moon. It was so huge and beautiful! We stopped home and grabbed my camera (I really need to keep it with me at all times!) and headed over to Bushy Park boat landing. The view was amazing!

"We are all in the gutter,
but some of us are looking at the stars."
~Oscar Wilde

Mystery Lump

A couple of months ago I noticed a small lump on the right back side of my neck right at the hair line. Every once in a while I'll get a swollen gland and they normally go away, but for some reason this one was sticking around. I felt it every once in a while and when it was the size of a small marble I finally mentioned it to my physician, Dr. Eads. His first thought was to send me for a CT scan but then he decided to give me a round of antibiotics for two weeks to see if it was some sort of nasty infection. After the antibiotics the lump was still there. Dr. Eads then decided to send me to an ENT, Dr. McNellis.

At this point in time I had developed a rash that looked a lot like ringworm that was directly over the lump.

Just because it's a ring doesn't mean it's a worm!

I initially put Eucerin on it and then moved on to triple antibiotic ointment and then benadryl. Robin finally got me some Tinactin and that seemed to help a little. Dr. McNellis asked me if the rash came first because apparently a rash can cause gland and lymph nodes to become infected. I told him that I've had the lump for several months and the rash for only a few weeks and had also developed another rash on my left hip. At that point the Dr. sent me down the hall for a CT scan. After the scan he wrote me a couple of prescriptions for my horrible allergies, scheduled me for allergy testing and also referred me to a dermatologist.

A couple of days later I went to see the dermatologist, Dr. Hannegan, who took a sample of both rashes and told me that they were fungal, but not ringworm. She gave me even more prescriptions and a follow-up appointment.

A week and a half passed by and I got a phone call from Dr. McNellis's scheduler, Michelle. She told me that Dr. McNellis had her schedule a biopsy of my lump at St. Francis Hospital. Um...what?? I was really surprised that I had not received a phone call from the doctor himself to discuss the results of the CT and now all of the sudden I am scheduled for a biopsy?!?

The biopsy was yesterday afternoon at 1pm. I was told to arrive between 11:30 and 12:00 and to also make sure I had no food or drink after 6am. Being a diabetic I was a little concerned about not eating because I tend to get nauseated if I don't eat on schedule. The morning was really rough because I drink a ton of water throughout the day. The worst part of the day was no coffee! Also, that morning at work was the service awards and they bought bagels, fruit and juice for all the employees. I just sat there swallowing my own saliva to keep my throat moist. It was sheer torture.

Robin came to pick me up at 11am and we drove to McNellis's office to pick up the CT disk to take to the hospital. I asked her to bring my laptop because I wanted to see the image. We loaded it up and you could definitely see a mass. I pirated a copy of the CD (which they ended up giving back to me!) to my laptop and we headed over to St. Francis.

After I was checked in they brought me to get my vitals and then to a prep room where I changed into a hospital gown. A nurse came in to put the IV in my arm and asked me a billion questions. They finally allowed Robin to come in and that was really a relief since the feeling of sitting a hospital room is one of the loneliest feelings in the world. Also, everywhere I looked there was Jesus! I had to remind myself that I was at St. Francis! I loathe hospitals for the most part and seeing Jesus didn't make me feel much better!

Robin and I chatted and goofed around and she took a picture of me with her iPhone

My super sexy hospital gown!

After a long wait. transport finally showed up to bring me downstairs. I was really confused because when he came in the room he said "You going to ultrasound?" and I said "No" and he said "Yes you are" - Huh?? He took me to a small room that had two nurses and a doctor. One of the nurses did an ultrasound of the front of my neck and then sent the images to the doctor.

A few minutes later the doctor came back in and he discussed with me the procedure that was going to happen. I was so confused because everyone was talking about a thyroid biopsy and I wasn't sure how that was related to the lump in the back of my neck! I asked him and he said they weren't related and then went on to say "sometimes when you look at something you end up finding something else!" He told me that I had a large amount of calcification's in my thyroid and that is what they would be doing the biopsy today. I was so confused. If this is what Dr. McNellis ordered why did he not call me to discuss this??

They made Robin leave the room and then they prepared me for the procedure. They put a towel under my shoulder so my neck would be high and visible then they sterilized my neck with betadine. The doctor put a drape over my chest and chin so only my neck was exposed. He then gave me a shot of lidocaine which numbed the area. I had asked several people if this procedure would hurt and they all said no. They lied.

After the lidocaine he put a needle in my throat down into my thyroid. The doctor made the comment that he could actually feel the calcification's with the needle. Apparently the calcification's were pretty tough because he DUG AROUND with that damn needle for several minutes. It was so uncomfortable and painful. I could feel the pressure in my throat and started crying from the pain. I really wanted Robin to be there. The whole thing was awful. The doctor ended up taking 3 specimens and told me that I should expect the results at the beginning of the week. I was so glad it was over.

They gave me a box of tissues and wheeled me into the hallway where I waited for Robin. I was so glad to see her. The nurse wheeled me back upstairs to a private room where I had to stay for an hour where my blood pressure was continually checked. Robin and I planned on getting lunch after we left so I had the nurse bring me some crackers and ginger ale just so I could get something in my stomach. I tried to nap while Robin read but I was still in pain and uncomfortable with the blood pressure cuff on and IV needle in.

After my hour was up the nurse came in and took the IV needle out. My arm wasn't resting on anything so it was wobbling around and the nurse couldn't get the tape off and all the while she was pulling on the needle... she ended up blowing my vein. Ugh.

Ew.

Transport brought a wheelchair up to my room to escort me out of the hospital. I really wish that wasn't necessary - I really could have walked! As we cruised (incredibly fast! Robin could barely keep up!) from wing to wing I kept a lookout for Joan, who works at St. Francis. Of course I would have made "Speedracer Wheelchair Driver" turn on the breaks so I could meet my favorite blogger! No such luck... perhaps she was out and about walking our lovely city with her camera!

We finally reached the door and I was FREE! and hungry!!! We had some delicious Chinese buffet and headed home. I was sore, tired and so glad it was over, but I'm still wondering what the hell the lump is at the back of my neck!!

Results to come...

RSVP

One of the major obstacles that I have come across while going through Mom's things is what to do with everything! People really don't understand just how much sewing, craft and painting stuff she had! I wish the room was more organized... I would take a photo of it all. Right now we have gone through a lot and things are moved all about so it's a jumble of stuff!

For a couple of months I have been looking online and asking friends for any ideas regarding the possibility of donating Mom's fabric - about 15 large boxes! I thought of selling the fabric but didn't really know how to go about that. I finally made the decision that I wanted to donate it to someone who will use it for the greater good. I wanted the fabric to be used to make things that will benefit someone.

I searched nursing homes and other places looking for an outreach program and finally found the Cobblestone Quilters. The guild has a group that makes quilts that are donated to the needy and I thought that was a great idea. I sent an email to the group and was told that the outreach coordinator would contact me ASAP. The President of the group said they were very interested. After not hearing from them for a while I sent another email and received no response. Months passed and I was still looking around for someone who would put this fabric to use.

A couple of weeks ago I came up with the idea to email Joan Perry who writes my favorite blog: Charleston Daily Photo. I knew that Joan worked at one of the local hospitals as the volunteer coordinator so I thought that she MUST know someone who would be appreciative of the donation. I emailed Joan and received a response later in the day. I knew she would come through!! She gave me the number of a woman named Pam who works at the American Red Cross in North Charleston. Pam runs RSVP, which is the Retired and Senior Volunteer Program for the Red Cross. I sent Pam and email and we chatted back and forth. Pam told me that she would LOVE the fabric and could really put it to good use! In one of her emails she told me this:

I can promise that your mom’s things will help in two ways.

1. The items that are made are requested by agencies to help others...wheelchair and walker bags, comfort dolls, lap robes, baby blankets & hats, tote bags filled with personal care items.

2. The volunteers that make the items are usually either very elderly or have health problems. They have the skills and time and cannot help others by going out into agencies… this is their way of doing for others. They feel great, as they should. I actually had a volunteer tell me the other day that if it wasn’t for her sewing she would have “slit her throat” a long time ago. Guess that tells you something! Your mom will be smiling down on you I am sure.

I felt so relieved!

Tonight I packed up my Jeep for tomorrow's drop-off at 2:30. Oddly enough, The Red Cross office is in the same building as my office so I don't have to travel too far!!

Packed and ready to go!

I really think that Mom would have been happy with the decision I made to donate the fabric. I know the people who receive the finished product made from the fabric won't know Mom and probably won't even stop to think about where the fabric came from. I hope with all my heart that the items are made with as much love and care that my Mom had when making things and are eventually cherished by the people who receive the gift.

Thanks so much Joan for leading me to Pam and the RSVP program at the Red Cross!

Anniversary

Last Wednesday was the anniversary of my Mother's death. I can't believe it's already been a year. I planned to take the day off to do something fun with Robin to keep my mind off of things but what I didn't expect was that Tuesday was actually the hardest day. Tuesday was the day that I spent the morning trying to call my Mom to let her know that Uncle David passed away. I tried all morning and then called my sister, Traci, and had her stop by Mom's on the way to work. That's when she found Mom. For most of the morning I was okay but as the day went on my mind wandered to that day a year ago. I did my best to just focus on work.

When I came home Robin was still sleeping since she works nights. I crawled in the bed next to her and looked over at the bathroom and it was so hard to hold back the tears. I am so glad I was not here for the events that unfolded that day and that I didn't actually see Mom laying on the bathroom floor. I'm still trying to understand how the image is burned in my mind and I didn't even witness it.

It's much easier sleeping in Mom and Dad's bedroom now that we've painted it. I really have to think hard to remember how it used to look and that's a good thing. The bathroom is a work in progress since we have to re-do the floors. We've decided on a paint color and this weekend Robin spackled some of the holes in the wall. Eventually it will be easier to go in there.

On the 3rd we decided to drive to Murrell's Inlet to go to Brookgreen Gardens. I have been to Brookgreen Gardens before but it has been years. Also, the day I visited was probably the hottest day South Carolina has ever seen and it was so hard to enjoy the sculpture and gardens. Wednesday was a gorgeous and sunny day with a high of 67! I love "Winter" days like this!

This weekend was a lazy one, which is nice once in a while - especially when it's rainy! We did venture out today to do some Geocaching. Robin was on #29 and wanted to reach 30 this weekend. We actually did 11 caches so she hit 40.

Caching in South Carolina is so disappointing. The cache hiders aren't creative I find most of the hides kind of boring. I would love to take Robin back to Ohio where the cachers are abundant and very clever with their hides. In South Carolina the caches are one boring micro after another. ugh!

The last cache of the day was down this dirt road pretty close to the house. I have been down the main road hundreds of times and never noticed this road before. I started to get excited because I love a cache that brings me to an interesting location. We traveled down the dirt road and I was thankful we were in the Jeep and not the Miata! We finally arrived at the end of the road which brought us to the Goose Creek Reservoir. We followed the GPSr down a path which was really close to the water. I made the statement that this was where the gators live... not to mention their friend the snake! Luckily we didn't run into any of them!

We continued our walk through the woods/swamp and I decided to check out the cache description. Damn! It was a micro! This was the perfect place for a regular cache with great swag and the jerk hides a freakin' micro! What a waste! After we signed the log and replaced the cache we headed back and as we passed the reservoir I asked Robin to get my camera. The sun was setting and there was a pelican and a couple of egret hanging out. It was gorgeous!



After much fresh, cold air all day we went home and I immediately changed into my soft pants, ordered pizza and am now sitting here blogging while Robin watches the Super Bowl. I hope her team gets some home runs :)

Life is good.

Gaga Day in the Square

This past Thursday I found out that a group of College of Charleston kids were putting together a dance-a-thon for National Lady Gaga Day at Marion Square downtown on Friday. The dance-a-thon was to last only 30 minutes and would be a fundraiser for Haiti. In a short span of time, these kids got sponsors in order to pay for a dance floor and also got a radio station to volunteer to play Gaga tunes for the dance. How fun! I knew immediately I was going to be there.

When I got home from work I told Robin that we had to practice our 'Bad Romance' dance moves. After dinner we came home, cleared our "dance floor" in the living room and turned on the Bose. The next hour or so was hysterical. We got the basic moves down and in the meantime scared all of the dogs!

The next day I had a doctors appointment at 2:15 and after we were supposed to meet Teresa at Krispy Kreme at 3:45. My friend Troy was supposed to meet us down at the park and I tried multiple times to reach Mark to no avail.

We got to Krispy Kreme a little early so we decided to have a donut and a coffee. I called Mark again and he didn't answer. Soon after I received an email from him with the lyrics to "Shake Ure Kitty" and he ended it with "I am there!" I was so excited that he was coming! It had been ages since I've seen him. He finally called me and we arranged to pick him up at his house.

In the meantime, around 2:50 I received a text message from Teresa saying she was Jeep shopping with April and wasn't going to be able to come... that it was taking longer than she expected. WTF? Okay, first of all, I invited her because we hadn't seen her in a long time and thought it would be cool to hang out with her. Her coming or not coming didn't hinder my plans BUT I thought it was incredibly rude how she handled this. If she knew she was going Jeep shopping with April she should have called me earlier and told me that she might get delayed or possibly not be able to come. She had over a 24-hour notice about this event and she never once let me know that there might be a problem with her making it. We waited there for her. She could have called earlier so we didn't waste our time!

ANYWAY...

We headed over to Marks house and picked him up and headed to the Square. When we walked up closer to the dance floor I suddenly felt really old. I turned to Mark and Robin and said "You know, we are old enough to be most of these kids parents!" How sobering! But... old, or not, I wanted to dance to Gaga! We bought a t-shirt and found a place on the dance floor.

Before the music started the organizer of the group said a couple of words but the sound system was so horrible that you couldn't hear a word. When the music started it was the same way... you could barely hear the music! It was hard to dance when the music was so faint and the screaming girls were so loud! We ended up moving to the outer edge of the dance floor for breathing space and to look out for Troy.

I checked my phone and had missed Troy's phone call so I called him back and we eventually hooked up. In the meantime, Mark had taken my camera to take photos of people in their Gaga-esque outfits and was telling everyone that he was with different, non-existent newspapers including the "Lesbian Times" He was killing me!

After the music ended and our donation for Haiti was given we decided to get something to eat so we headed over to the Kickin' Chicken for a bite to eat. Good food and great company! We talked about going back to Troy's house to play cards but decided to head out. Robin, Mark and I ended up going to Kaminsky's for dessert and coffee. A delicious end to a really fun evening.

One of the events organizers (I think!)

Mark... striking a pose

I love this shot!

This one too! I wish I knew the people so I could send it to them!

Mark, Troy and I

Dancing by myself

"I love this record baby, but I can't see straight anymore..." - Lady Gaga

There were lots of scary panty lines.

"ohmygaga!" Me and Robin

Dum Spiro Spero

I'm sitting here watching a documentary on Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. They were discussing and showing images of the March on Washington in 1963. I sit in amazement at what Dr. King had accomplished in his short, impressive life.

While watching footage on the March, I was reminded of the National Equality March that Robin and I attended in D.C. last October and thought to myself that the gays need a MLK on their side. I started thinking of who could possibly fill those shoes and came up empty. We have Cleve Jones, David Mixner, Joe Solmonese... is there anyone who has a voice powerful enough to change a Nation regarding equality for the GLBT community?

I was left wondering how the African American community defeated and rose above all of the ignorant and narrow-minded people and achieved equality (The fact that they had to do that all astounds me!) Is it because some people think African Americans don't have a choice - they are born black and some people think being gay is a choice?

During the March in October we walked past a mixed-race couple standing on the side of the road with the most brilliant sign and I knew that our effort was not in vain.


I can only hope that I'm alive WHEN it happens for us on a National level.

Siblings

Last night Robin was working and I really wasn't in the mood to cook anything so I decided to go to Hardees for dinner. I normally avoid it since my niece works there. I thought that if I waited late enough, she would have already gone home since she's still in high school. I would have gone elsewhere, but Hardees now has these little "mini chimis" that are quite tasty and that is what I was craving. This is one of those Hardees that also carries "Mexican" food, which I find to be a little odd. I wonder how that goes over in "Little Tijuana" "aka Goose Creek", home of the roaming taco trailers?

I waited until after 9pm thinking that Nicole would be off, but as soon as I pulled up to the drive-thru I knew it was her on the speaker. Crap! I placed my order and pulled up to the window and I could see her peeking out the window to see if it was me. She opened the window and looked at me. I could tell that she was really nervous. I said "Hello Nicole" and she said "Hello" and I said "How are you?" and she said "Fine". I handed her my credit card and she closed the window. While she waited for my order she was busy ringing up other customers. I'm glad she wasn't involved in preparing the food because I would never have eaten it for fear of consuming spit or dirt... that doesn't mean I didn't examine my food before eating it!

When my order was ready she handed it to me and I said "Thank you" and she said "You're welcome" and I was gone. Before she came back to the window I thought seriously about reaching out to her by saying that I am always available and am just a phone call away, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it because the hurt I have encountered from Nicole and Kayla outweighs my kindness and open and forgiving heart. I know deep down she is not a bad kid, and I truly think that Nicole, Mercedez and Devin are just victims. Kayla, on the other hand, is a bad seed and total product of her environment. Deep down I feel that Kayle is not a nice or kind person at all.

I wish it wasn't like this. I wish I had a relationship with my nieces and nephew but that means that I would have to have contact with my sister and really, I could live the rest of my life without talking to her again. I managed to do that nicely for the six years after Dad passed away, but being the executor of the estate I have no choice but to talk to Janine. I made a promise to my Uncle that I would handle things fairly and I have kept that promise, but I will be so happy when all of this is over and I can erase her from my life permanently.

My feelings on this were solidified recently when my sister pulled her latest stunt. When Robin and I met, I was staying over her house and let my other sister Traci and her girlfriend Tonya stay at Mom's. They were supposed to be paying 1/2 of all the utilities, but this never happened so I finally had to kick them out. Another factor in that decision is that they said they were bringing over two cats and a dog but actually brought a dog and EIGHT cats that tore up the furniture, chewed through cords and made me miserable. They had to go! For two months there was no one living in the house and Robin and I would come by every couple of days to get the mail and check on things.

At one point, Janine called me and told me some sob story about how she had to move and her new place didn't allow dogs and asked if she could keep her dogs in Mom's back yard. I really didn't want to say yes, but I did. For over a month she had her big dumb dog and her little dog in the yard and would occasionally come check on them. It was very hot outside and I really felt sorry for the pets. I kept asking her when she was going to find a home for them and she gave me a different story every time I asked. I personally emailed rescue organizations and no one could take another unwanted pet. I hated to even do that since I think it's absolutely irresponsible to just dispose of your pet because it's inconvenient for you. Janine wasn't being very proactive so I gave her a deadline. I also gave her an extension and then I was through. I told her we were going out of town and upon our return I wanted the dogs gone. I guess she found a home for them. I never asked.

In the meantime, I was working with the mortgage company trying to get the house out of foreclosure. I applied for their assistance program and was initially turned down. After many sleepless nights, phone calls, faxes and stressful moments, I re-applied and was accepted but we had to put money down to get the house out of foreclosure before they would set up a payment arrangement for us. Robin managed to borrow the money and we made the initial payment and then they took the other payments that we were behind and added them to the monthly payments. Our new monthly payment is now actually larger than the actual mortgage payment because of this. Regardless, we made it happen.

When I talked to Traci about all of this she said that her memories were with Mom and Dad and not tied to the house so she could not care less what happened (until we sell it, I'm sure!) Janine said that she would like to move in because she had to move anyway. I told her that I didn't know if that could legally happen since the house was still in probate and Mom, at one time, had her legally evicted by the magistrates office because she refused to leave. What Janine didn't think of is that she couldn't just move in. The house was in foreclosure and payments were behind. The mortgage company would not allow someone to simply move in and start paying. This just confirmed how ignorant she was to what was happening. She's so wrapped up in her own little world that she is oblivious to reality.

After dealing with the MAJOR stress of getting the house out of foreclosure we moved in with the intent of fixing it up so we could actually sell it later for a profit. We have already done several things and are slowly making progress. I really think my parents would be proud that we saved the house and are fixing it up.

About two weeks ago I received a text message from Janine that said "Are you home? I need to talk to you, something serious has happened." I knew I should have ignored it but I sent her a text telling her I was home. She called me and started rambling about how her best friend was in jail and she had to bail her out because everyone thought Janine set her up. She said the only money she had was her bill and rent money but this meant she would not be able to pay her rent so she and the kids needed to move in with us.

Ummmm. What??

I asked why her friend was in jail and why they thought Janine set her up. Janine said several times "I can't go into that right now, it's complicated!" I said "How can I help someone who won't even be honest with me?" Again, she stated it was complicated. She then went on to say that she knew that I didn't care for Kayla and Nicole and they could stay at a friends house so it would be just her, Mercedez and Devin. I told her I didn't have the space and she said "You have the spare bedrooms and the (unfinished!) room over the garage!" I told her that the spare rooms are still filled with Mom's things, including the room over the garage. I told her there is no way I could do that and reminded her of when Mom allowed her and the kids to move in and they stayed for eight months until Mom had her evicted.

Janine went on to say that she talked to the probate judge who looked at Mom's Will and said she had a right to be in the house since she was named 1/3 beneficiary. I told her that this was common knowledge even before Mom passed away and then I asked "Where have you been while we were attempting to save the house?" and she said "I didn't have any money" and I said "Neither did we! We had to BORROW it!" and then I said she hasn't done shit to help with ANYTHING since Mom died. She hasn't even raked a fucking leaf in the yard. All she has done is ask for things! I have been more than kind to her, even giving her Mom's ring that was left to me!!

I was so furious that she just expected to waltz in the house after not doing a damn thing to save it. She has never done a responsible thing in her life! All three of us kids have screwed up here and there and Mom and Dad have bailed us ALL out, but she is now 43 and needs to wake up! Her meal tickets are dead and she has absolutely estranged herself from all relatives. She has no one.

All I can think about it how poorly she and the kids treated Mom. When I was in Ohio, Mom would call me and complain about both Janine and Traci and how they would never come by or call her. Traci had a cell phone for a year and made me promise to not give Mom the number because she annoyed her. Janine and the kids were horrible to my Mom. Her kids totally disrespected her and Janine would bitch her out whenever my Mom would discipline one of them. Twice my sister kicked my Mom out of the car and made her walk home from long distances. This is a woman who could barely walk across the house without stumbling!

I told Janine I just could not disrupt my life to accommodate her. Robin works nights and I work days and it would not work out! She said "so, you are not going to help me?" and I said "no" and she said (again!) "I have a right to be in the house!" and I said "Well, go get an attorney and do what you've got to do!" and she hung up. I haven't talked to her since then.

A couple of days later I went to probate to turn in some forms and ask for an extension since I had to hunt down Janine to get her to sign the "Receipt and Release" form, which states she has no claim against the estate after receiving her name on the deed as 1/3 owner. I needed to get Janine's address for the Register of Deeds and it took several phone calls and text messages to just get that! When I asked for the extension, the probate clerk looked at the form and said "Ohhhh. I'm gonna give you 6 months!" I said "You know my sister, don't you?" and she said "Yeah" - it's pretty bad that even probate is aware of what a snatch she is!

Wow. I didn't mean for this blog to be all about this. Makes me think of the Anna Nalick song "Breathe"...

"If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,

Threatening the life it belongs to"

I don't really talk about it a lot, except with Robin. I have had people say "come on, it's family... you have to like them!" and I really don't agree with that theory. Janine has been nothing but a thorn in my side all of my life and like I mentioned before, I will be so glad when probate and eventual sale of the house is over so I don't have to think about her again.

I'm not sure what will happen with the house, but right now I have to go with what my heart tells me. My parent's always lived in Navy housing and this was the first home they ever owned and they were proud of it. My Dad loved his yard and it was once one of the nicest in the neighborhood. I would love for it to be that way again. I just want to do the right thing... the thing my parents would appreciate and be proud of.

Gold Bug Burger

I left work early today to head to my doctor's appointment. My original 3-month follow up was at the end of January but I moved it up since I have been having a couple of issues. Since being back in South Carolina my allergies have been out of control. My eyes water so much that I have not been able to wear eye makeup for over a month and the post-nasal drip is enough to make me gag... literally. Also, on the right side of my neck, toward the back, is a knot. At first I thought it was a swollen gland but the more time went on the larger it got. For the last month the skin over it has been red and itchy and sometimes it throbs. I simply call it "my tumor" but Dr. Eads seems to think that I am not going to keel over from cancer, BUT he did use the word "benign", which kind of freaked me out a bit. Initially he wanted a CAT scan but changed his mind and put me on a round of antibiotics to see if that would take care of it. Fun!

After my appointment it was time for lunch and we were trying to figure out where to go. We always end up at the same old places and we were trying to think of something different. Neither of us could think of any place we wanted to try! I need to keep a list of places that seem interesting, or have been suggested by friends. Like I have mentioned before, since being gone from Charleston for so long I have lost touch with what's out there as far as dining choices. I used to bitch all the time when I was in Ohio about the lack of independently owned restaurants. It seemed all the restaurants in the greater Dayton are were chain restaurants that you could experience in any town in the U.S. - Boring! Charleston has a HUGE amount of great, independently owned restaurants that I need to rediscover!

After tossing around dining choices I remembered that we have always talked about going to Poe's Tavern on Sullivan's Island. Poe's is named after Edgar Allan Poe who was, at one time, stationed at Fort Moultrie on the Island. He is said to have written many of his stories here. Friends have said that Poe's has the best burger in the Charleston area so we decided to head to the beach!

First off, when you go to Poe's in the Summer you might as well bring a tent to camp out because it is packed! This is probably the main reason that I have always ignored it before. I don't mind a wait, but I do mind a crowd. In the past, when I have driven by, the patio looks cramped and elbow to elbow. When you are in 100+ degree heat that's not so much fun, really. Today there was no wait, but as soon as we sat down the restaurant seemed to fill up quickly!

The burger of the day sounded very promising since it was VERY similar to my favorite burger of all time from Red Robin - the Whiskey River BBQ Burger, so I ordered that. When Robin and I first started dating I really wanted my favorite burger, but the nearest Red Robin was in Columbia, which 1 1/2 hours away... we drove there anyway! Cheese, onion straws, BBQ sauce... soooo good! My high hopes were quickly shot down when my burger came out and I cut it in half. The burger that I ordered to be medium-well was cooked to a mere (and gross) rare. Ugh. When the server came back I told her that my burger was supposed to be medium well and she then picked up the plate to examine it as if I was not telling the truth. I guess she agreed with me because she took it back to the kitchen.

After a bit of a wait, my burger - round two - arrived and I cut it in half. When I did this, I realized it was actually the SAME burger that I sent back. Because I had cut it in half initially and then cut it in half the second time, my burger was now cut into quarters and held together by the bun. I started laughing and showed Robin. The inside of my burger was still very red. When the server came back I pointed it out. She said "How exactly do you want it to look?" I told her "I want it medium-well" but what I really wanted to say was "Ummmm, NOT RED!!" She offered to take it back to the kitchen but I knew that just meant I would be eating spit later so I declined. I still can't believe they cooked the same, cut in half-cheese covered burger that I had before. Wow!

So, Poe's Tavern... well, it's out of the way to go to, so MAYBE if we are in the neighborhood in the middle of winter we MIGHT give it another chance!

Hooked on Phonics

You know how much I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE funny Freecycle posts... well, this one made me laugh out loud!! Oh my! Methinks the parent needs it more than the child!

---------- Original message ----------
From: codeyshyann <@yahoo.com>
Date: Sat, Jan 2, 2010 at 7:31 PM
Subject: [goosecreek_freecycle] WANTED: cassette tape player
To: goosecreek_freecycle@yahoogroups.com


i am trying to my duaghter how to read with hooked on phonices, everything is on tape. We live in goosecreek on the navybase thank you so much

codey

Hominy Grill & Snuggies

Today my friend Rob was in town visiting from Boston along with his partner Steven and Steven's baby, Kofi. Robin and I met them downtown at Hominy Grill at 10am. I had never been to Hominy Grill but I heard their food was fantastic. It's been on FoodTV and the Travel Channel so I was really looking forward to it.

When Robin and I got there we put our names in and were told it would be a 20-minute wait. Shortly after, we were joined by Rob, Steven and Kofi. It was so wonderful seeing Rob and finally meeting Steven and Kofi! I had not seen Rob since our 20-year high school reunion July 2008! We waited out in front of the restaurant since there was no standing room inside. It was the coldest day we have had in Charleston so far. What should have been a 20-minute wait turned into about an hour! When we were finally seated they put us right next to the door so each time someone left or came in we got a bit of an arctic chill! Since we had the baby they allowed us to move to another table in the back, which was much warmer!

Brunch was actually very good. I ended up getting the cinnamon french toast with apple maple syrup and pecan butter. Robin and Steven got the shrimp and hominy grits and Rob got the country breakfast. My french toast was nothing short of amazing!! I MUST get the recipe for it! The apple maple syrup wasn't even the consistency of syrup. It looked like creamy caramel. Sooooo good! It actually made the wait in the bitter cold well worth the visit. I'll definitely be back!


After eating, Robin had to head home since she was scheduled later today and hadn't been to sleep yet. Rob, Steven, Kofi and I took a drive around downtown for a quick tour. We didn't get out of the car since it was so chilly. After the tour and goodbye's I headed to Bed, Bath and Beyond to refill our supply of Keurig and Tassimo coffee & tea. I was looking forward to enjoying a nice cup of tea while cuddling on the couch in my new Snuggie, which Robin bought for me on the way home from work this morning. I guess she saw my status post on Facebook last night where I was complaining about being cold and how I wish I had a Snuggie!

Soooo sweet!

Lucas and his dog bone getting in the picture!

Cozy!

I think Lucas and Jake are a bit jealous!

Blue Moon on New Years

Last night we had the most spectacular Blue Moon.

Robin and I were coming home from errands and were stopped at a traffic light and the moon seemed so close, full and beautiful. It was surrounded by perfect clouds. I really wish I had my camera with me!

Later in the evening we took the tripod to the backyard to try to get some photos. It was a bit of a hassle since there were so many fast-moving clouds. Also, the tripod I was using was my Mothers and it is not very user friendly. Actually, I'm not quite sure why my Mother even had a tripod. Makes me wonder where she got it.

The next blue moon on New Years Eve won't occur until 2028! Isn't it amazing?






For our first New Years Eve together, Robin and I went out for an early dinner then came home and watched some television. Neither of us are party people and we really didn't want to deal with checkpoints or drunk drivers so we opted to stay home, which was nice. We watched a bit of CNN with Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin (who we love!) and then switched it over to Dick Clark. Don't you almost have to watch Dick Clark?? He's practically been a part of every New Years I've had (minus those spent at bars or parties!) I'd love to experience Times Square on New Years while he's still around... seems like it just won't be the same without him.

After a quiet night with such a beautiful moon and a wonderful New Years kiss, I was so happy that I would be waking up the following morning to a new year after experiencing one of the best and worst years of my life. It was nice to say "good riddance" to 2009!

For this first day of 2010, Robin went out and bought some hoppin' john and collard greens for dinner. This Southern tradition is said to bring luck for the New Year. I haven't had any in over six years and considering my luck in that time span I need all the help that I can get! I hope it works!

Hello 2010!

Sheepman Graffiti

For the last couple of days I have been fighting a cold with Airborne, Nyquil, Ibuprofen, orange juice... you name it. I have little PTO time at work so I have been trying so hard to stay well. I've finally managed to regulate my blood sugar and I've also been trying to regulate my sleep pattern. This isn't so easy since Robin and I work opposite hours. When I get home at 4:30 she is sleeping and doesn't wake up until almost 6pm and then she leaves for work. Those few hours are the only time we get to spend together on weekdays so I normally nap with her. Sometimes I'm so tired that I keep sleeping after she leaves and don't wake up until late. When I do this I normally am up until the wee hours of the morning. I am trying so hard to not do this... being sick doesn't make it easy!

Yesterday I got off work at 1pm and wanted to take advantage of the day. I made plans to ride out to James Island to see the Sheepman Graffiti that I saw on the wonderful blog Charleston Daily Photo. I really wanted to see it before it was defaced or painted over. Robin didn't have to be at work until 7pm so she came along. Along the way we had lunch at Bessinger's BBQ and I had the pulled BBQ chicken sandwich and onion rings. Last time I had the cheeseburger, which I didn't care for so I decided to try something different. I really made the right choice because this was the BEST chicken sandwich that I have ever had. I've tried Robert's and Melvin's and they both use the mustard based BBQ sauce and I don't care for it much. Bessinger's uses the red sauce and it was soooo delicious. I remember years ago Lonnie always tried to get me to go to Bessinger's and I refused. What the hell was I thinking??

After lunch we rode out to the Buffalo South Shopping Center on Folly Road to check out this graffiti. We drove around the back of the mostly abandoned plaza to find the most amazing art work! The artist is known at "The Sheepman" but after researching a bit I found out that his real name is Douglas Panzone. His work is amazing!