Gaga Day in the Square

This past Thursday I found out that a group of College of Charleston kids were putting together a dance-a-thon for National Lady Gaga Day at Marion Square downtown on Friday. The dance-a-thon was to last only 30 minutes and would be a fundraiser for Haiti. In a short span of time, these kids got sponsors in order to pay for a dance floor and also got a radio station to volunteer to play Gaga tunes for the dance. How fun! I knew immediately I was going to be there.

When I got home from work I told Robin that we had to practice our 'Bad Romance' dance moves. After dinner we came home, cleared our "dance floor" in the living room and turned on the Bose. The next hour or so was hysterical. We got the basic moves down and in the meantime scared all of the dogs!

The next day I had a doctors appointment at 2:15 and after we were supposed to meet Teresa at Krispy Kreme at 3:45. My friend Troy was supposed to meet us down at the park and I tried multiple times to reach Mark to no avail.

We got to Krispy Kreme a little early so we decided to have a donut and a coffee. I called Mark again and he didn't answer. Soon after I received an email from him with the lyrics to "Shake Ure Kitty" and he ended it with "I am there!" I was so excited that he was coming! It had been ages since I've seen him. He finally called me and we arranged to pick him up at his house.

In the meantime, around 2:50 I received a text message from Teresa saying she was Jeep shopping with April and wasn't going to be able to come... that it was taking longer than she expected. WTF? Okay, first of all, I invited her because we hadn't seen her in a long time and thought it would be cool to hang out with her. Her coming or not coming didn't hinder my plans BUT I thought it was incredibly rude how she handled this. If she knew she was going Jeep shopping with April she should have called me earlier and told me that she might get delayed or possibly not be able to come. She had over a 24-hour notice about this event and she never once let me know that there might be a problem with her making it. We waited there for her. She could have called earlier so we didn't waste our time!

ANYWAY...

We headed over to Marks house and picked him up and headed to the Square. When we walked up closer to the dance floor I suddenly felt really old. I turned to Mark and Robin and said "You know, we are old enough to be most of these kids parents!" How sobering! But... old, or not, I wanted to dance to Gaga! We bought a t-shirt and found a place on the dance floor.

Before the music started the organizer of the group said a couple of words but the sound system was so horrible that you couldn't hear a word. When the music started it was the same way... you could barely hear the music! It was hard to dance when the music was so faint and the screaming girls were so loud! We ended up moving to the outer edge of the dance floor for breathing space and to look out for Troy.

I checked my phone and had missed Troy's phone call so I called him back and we eventually hooked up. In the meantime, Mark had taken my camera to take photos of people in their Gaga-esque outfits and was telling everyone that he was with different, non-existent newspapers including the "Lesbian Times" He was killing me!

After the music ended and our donation for Haiti was given we decided to get something to eat so we headed over to the Kickin' Chicken for a bite to eat. Good food and great company! We talked about going back to Troy's house to play cards but decided to head out. Robin, Mark and I ended up going to Kaminsky's for dessert and coffee. A delicious end to a really fun evening.

One of the events organizers (I think!)

Mark... striking a pose

I love this shot!

This one too! I wish I knew the people so I could send it to them!

Mark, Troy and I

Dancing by myself

"I love this record baby, but I can't see straight anymore..." - Lady Gaga

There were lots of scary panty lines.

"ohmygaga!" Me and Robin

Dum Spiro Spero

I'm sitting here watching a documentary on Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. They were discussing and showing images of the March on Washington in 1963. I sit in amazement at what Dr. King had accomplished in his short, impressive life.

While watching footage on the March, I was reminded of the National Equality March that Robin and I attended in D.C. last October and thought to myself that the gays need a MLK on their side. I started thinking of who could possibly fill those shoes and came up empty. We have Cleve Jones, David Mixner, Joe Solmonese... is there anyone who has a voice powerful enough to change a Nation regarding equality for the GLBT community?

I was left wondering how the African American community defeated and rose above all of the ignorant and narrow-minded people and achieved equality (The fact that they had to do that all astounds me!) Is it because some people think African Americans don't have a choice - they are born black and some people think being gay is a choice?

During the March in October we walked past a mixed-race couple standing on the side of the road with the most brilliant sign and I knew that our effort was not in vain.


I can only hope that I'm alive WHEN it happens for us on a National level.

Siblings

Last night Robin was working and I really wasn't in the mood to cook anything so I decided to go to Hardees for dinner. I normally avoid it since my niece works there. I thought that if I waited late enough, she would have already gone home since she's still in high school. I would have gone elsewhere, but Hardees now has these little "mini chimis" that are quite tasty and that is what I was craving. This is one of those Hardees that also carries "Mexican" food, which I find to be a little odd. I wonder how that goes over in "Little Tijuana" "aka Goose Creek", home of the roaming taco trailers?

I waited until after 9pm thinking that Nicole would be off, but as soon as I pulled up to the drive-thru I knew it was her on the speaker. Crap! I placed my order and pulled up to the window and I could see her peeking out the window to see if it was me. She opened the window and looked at me. I could tell that she was really nervous. I said "Hello Nicole" and she said "Hello" and I said "How are you?" and she said "Fine". I handed her my credit card and she closed the window. While she waited for my order she was busy ringing up other customers. I'm glad she wasn't involved in preparing the food because I would never have eaten it for fear of consuming spit or dirt... that doesn't mean I didn't examine my food before eating it!

When my order was ready she handed it to me and I said "Thank you" and she said "You're welcome" and I was gone. Before she came back to the window I thought seriously about reaching out to her by saying that I am always available and am just a phone call away, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it because the hurt I have encountered from Nicole and Kayla outweighs my kindness and open and forgiving heart. I know deep down she is not a bad kid, and I truly think that Nicole, Mercedez and Devin are just victims. Kayla, on the other hand, is a bad seed and total product of her environment. Deep down I feel that Kayle is not a nice or kind person at all.

I wish it wasn't like this. I wish I had a relationship with my nieces and nephew but that means that I would have to have contact with my sister and really, I could live the rest of my life without talking to her again. I managed to do that nicely for the six years after Dad passed away, but being the executor of the estate I have no choice but to talk to Janine. I made a promise to my Uncle that I would handle things fairly and I have kept that promise, but I will be so happy when all of this is over and I can erase her from my life permanently.

My feelings on this were solidified recently when my sister pulled her latest stunt. When Robin and I met, I was staying over her house and let my other sister Traci and her girlfriend Tonya stay at Mom's. They were supposed to be paying 1/2 of all the utilities, but this never happened so I finally had to kick them out. Another factor in that decision is that they said they were bringing over two cats and a dog but actually brought a dog and EIGHT cats that tore up the furniture, chewed through cords and made me miserable. They had to go! For two months there was no one living in the house and Robin and I would come by every couple of days to get the mail and check on things.

At one point, Janine called me and told me some sob story about how she had to move and her new place didn't allow dogs and asked if she could keep her dogs in Mom's back yard. I really didn't want to say yes, but I did. For over a month she had her big dumb dog and her little dog in the yard and would occasionally come check on them. It was very hot outside and I really felt sorry for the pets. I kept asking her when she was going to find a home for them and she gave me a different story every time I asked. I personally emailed rescue organizations and no one could take another unwanted pet. I hated to even do that since I think it's absolutely irresponsible to just dispose of your pet because it's inconvenient for you. Janine wasn't being very proactive so I gave her a deadline. I also gave her an extension and then I was through. I told her we were going out of town and upon our return I wanted the dogs gone. I guess she found a home for them. I never asked.

In the meantime, I was working with the mortgage company trying to get the house out of foreclosure. I applied for their assistance program and was initially turned down. After many sleepless nights, phone calls, faxes and stressful moments, I re-applied and was accepted but we had to put money down to get the house out of foreclosure before they would set up a payment arrangement for us. Robin managed to borrow the money and we made the initial payment and then they took the other payments that we were behind and added them to the monthly payments. Our new monthly payment is now actually larger than the actual mortgage payment because of this. Regardless, we made it happen.

When I talked to Traci about all of this she said that her memories were with Mom and Dad and not tied to the house so she could not care less what happened (until we sell it, I'm sure!) Janine said that she would like to move in because she had to move anyway. I told her that I didn't know if that could legally happen since the house was still in probate and Mom, at one time, had her legally evicted by the magistrates office because she refused to leave. What Janine didn't think of is that she couldn't just move in. The house was in foreclosure and payments were behind. The mortgage company would not allow someone to simply move in and start paying. This just confirmed how ignorant she was to what was happening. She's so wrapped up in her own little world that she is oblivious to reality.

After dealing with the MAJOR stress of getting the house out of foreclosure we moved in with the intent of fixing it up so we could actually sell it later for a profit. We have already done several things and are slowly making progress. I really think my parents would be proud that we saved the house and are fixing it up.

About two weeks ago I received a text message from Janine that said "Are you home? I need to talk to you, something serious has happened." I knew I should have ignored it but I sent her a text telling her I was home. She called me and started rambling about how her best friend was in jail and she had to bail her out because everyone thought Janine set her up. She said the only money she had was her bill and rent money but this meant she would not be able to pay her rent so she and the kids needed to move in with us.

Ummmm. What??

I asked why her friend was in jail and why they thought Janine set her up. Janine said several times "I can't go into that right now, it's complicated!" I said "How can I help someone who won't even be honest with me?" Again, she stated it was complicated. She then went on to say that she knew that I didn't care for Kayla and Nicole and they could stay at a friends house so it would be just her, Mercedez and Devin. I told her I didn't have the space and she said "You have the spare bedrooms and the (unfinished!) room over the garage!" I told her that the spare rooms are still filled with Mom's things, including the room over the garage. I told her there is no way I could do that and reminded her of when Mom allowed her and the kids to move in and they stayed for eight months until Mom had her evicted.

Janine went on to say that she talked to the probate judge who looked at Mom's Will and said she had a right to be in the house since she was named 1/3 beneficiary. I told her that this was common knowledge even before Mom passed away and then I asked "Where have you been while we were attempting to save the house?" and she said "I didn't have any money" and I said "Neither did we! We had to BORROW it!" and then I said she hasn't done shit to help with ANYTHING since Mom died. She hasn't even raked a fucking leaf in the yard. All she has done is ask for things! I have been more than kind to her, even giving her Mom's ring that was left to me!!

I was so furious that she just expected to waltz in the house after not doing a damn thing to save it. She has never done a responsible thing in her life! All three of us kids have screwed up here and there and Mom and Dad have bailed us ALL out, but she is now 43 and needs to wake up! Her meal tickets are dead and she has absolutely estranged herself from all relatives. She has no one.

All I can think about it how poorly she and the kids treated Mom. When I was in Ohio, Mom would call me and complain about both Janine and Traci and how they would never come by or call her. Traci had a cell phone for a year and made me promise to not give Mom the number because she annoyed her. Janine and the kids were horrible to my Mom. Her kids totally disrespected her and Janine would bitch her out whenever my Mom would discipline one of them. Twice my sister kicked my Mom out of the car and made her walk home from long distances. This is a woman who could barely walk across the house without stumbling!

I told Janine I just could not disrupt my life to accommodate her. Robin works nights and I work days and it would not work out! She said "so, you are not going to help me?" and I said "no" and she said (again!) "I have a right to be in the house!" and I said "Well, go get an attorney and do what you've got to do!" and she hung up. I haven't talked to her since then.

A couple of days later I went to probate to turn in some forms and ask for an extension since I had to hunt down Janine to get her to sign the "Receipt and Release" form, which states she has no claim against the estate after receiving her name on the deed as 1/3 owner. I needed to get Janine's address for the Register of Deeds and it took several phone calls and text messages to just get that! When I asked for the extension, the probate clerk looked at the form and said "Ohhhh. I'm gonna give you 6 months!" I said "You know my sister, don't you?" and she said "Yeah" - it's pretty bad that even probate is aware of what a snatch she is!

Wow. I didn't mean for this blog to be all about this. Makes me think of the Anna Nalick song "Breathe"...

"If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,

Threatening the life it belongs to"

I don't really talk about it a lot, except with Robin. I have had people say "come on, it's family... you have to like them!" and I really don't agree with that theory. Janine has been nothing but a thorn in my side all of my life and like I mentioned before, I will be so glad when probate and eventual sale of the house is over so I don't have to think about her again.

I'm not sure what will happen with the house, but right now I have to go with what my heart tells me. My parent's always lived in Navy housing and this was the first home they ever owned and they were proud of it. My Dad loved his yard and it was once one of the nicest in the neighborhood. I would love for it to be that way again. I just want to do the right thing... the thing my parents would appreciate and be proud of.

Gold Bug Burger

I left work early today to head to my doctor's appointment. My original 3-month follow up was at the end of January but I moved it up since I have been having a couple of issues. Since being back in South Carolina my allergies have been out of control. My eyes water so much that I have not been able to wear eye makeup for over a month and the post-nasal drip is enough to make me gag... literally. Also, on the right side of my neck, toward the back, is a knot. At first I thought it was a swollen gland but the more time went on the larger it got. For the last month the skin over it has been red and itchy and sometimes it throbs. I simply call it "my tumor" but Dr. Eads seems to think that I am not going to keel over from cancer, BUT he did use the word "benign", which kind of freaked me out a bit. Initially he wanted a CAT scan but changed his mind and put me on a round of antibiotics to see if that would take care of it. Fun!

After my appointment it was time for lunch and we were trying to figure out where to go. We always end up at the same old places and we were trying to think of something different. Neither of us could think of any place we wanted to try! I need to keep a list of places that seem interesting, or have been suggested by friends. Like I have mentioned before, since being gone from Charleston for so long I have lost touch with what's out there as far as dining choices. I used to bitch all the time when I was in Ohio about the lack of independently owned restaurants. It seemed all the restaurants in the greater Dayton are were chain restaurants that you could experience in any town in the U.S. - Boring! Charleston has a HUGE amount of great, independently owned restaurants that I need to rediscover!

After tossing around dining choices I remembered that we have always talked about going to Poe's Tavern on Sullivan's Island. Poe's is named after Edgar Allan Poe who was, at one time, stationed at Fort Moultrie on the Island. He is said to have written many of his stories here. Friends have said that Poe's has the best burger in the Charleston area so we decided to head to the beach!

First off, when you go to Poe's in the Summer you might as well bring a tent to camp out because it is packed! This is probably the main reason that I have always ignored it before. I don't mind a wait, but I do mind a crowd. In the past, when I have driven by, the patio looks cramped and elbow to elbow. When you are in 100+ degree heat that's not so much fun, really. Today there was no wait, but as soon as we sat down the restaurant seemed to fill up quickly!

The burger of the day sounded very promising since it was VERY similar to my favorite burger of all time from Red Robin - the Whiskey River BBQ Burger, so I ordered that. When Robin and I first started dating I really wanted my favorite burger, but the nearest Red Robin was in Columbia, which 1 1/2 hours away... we drove there anyway! Cheese, onion straws, BBQ sauce... soooo good! My high hopes were quickly shot down when my burger came out and I cut it in half. The burger that I ordered to be medium-well was cooked to a mere (and gross) rare. Ugh. When the server came back I told her that my burger was supposed to be medium well and she then picked up the plate to examine it as if I was not telling the truth. I guess she agreed with me because she took it back to the kitchen.

After a bit of a wait, my burger - round two - arrived and I cut it in half. When I did this, I realized it was actually the SAME burger that I sent back. Because I had cut it in half initially and then cut it in half the second time, my burger was now cut into quarters and held together by the bun. I started laughing and showed Robin. The inside of my burger was still very red. When the server came back I pointed it out. She said "How exactly do you want it to look?" I told her "I want it medium-well" but what I really wanted to say was "Ummmm, NOT RED!!" She offered to take it back to the kitchen but I knew that just meant I would be eating spit later so I declined. I still can't believe they cooked the same, cut in half-cheese covered burger that I had before. Wow!

So, Poe's Tavern... well, it's out of the way to go to, so MAYBE if we are in the neighborhood in the middle of winter we MIGHT give it another chance!

Hooked on Phonics

You know how much I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE funny Freecycle posts... well, this one made me laugh out loud!! Oh my! Methinks the parent needs it more than the child!

---------- Original message ----------
From: codeyshyann <@yahoo.com>
Date: Sat, Jan 2, 2010 at 7:31 PM
Subject: [goosecreek_freecycle] WANTED: cassette tape player
To: goosecreek_freecycle@yahoogroups.com


i am trying to my duaghter how to read with hooked on phonices, everything is on tape. We live in goosecreek on the navybase thank you so much

codey

Hominy Grill & Snuggies

Today my friend Rob was in town visiting from Boston along with his partner Steven and Steven's baby, Kofi. Robin and I met them downtown at Hominy Grill at 10am. I had never been to Hominy Grill but I heard their food was fantastic. It's been on FoodTV and the Travel Channel so I was really looking forward to it.

When Robin and I got there we put our names in and were told it would be a 20-minute wait. Shortly after, we were joined by Rob, Steven and Kofi. It was so wonderful seeing Rob and finally meeting Steven and Kofi! I had not seen Rob since our 20-year high school reunion July 2008! We waited out in front of the restaurant since there was no standing room inside. It was the coldest day we have had in Charleston so far. What should have been a 20-minute wait turned into about an hour! When we were finally seated they put us right next to the door so each time someone left or came in we got a bit of an arctic chill! Since we had the baby they allowed us to move to another table in the back, which was much warmer!

Brunch was actually very good. I ended up getting the cinnamon french toast with apple maple syrup and pecan butter. Robin and Steven got the shrimp and hominy grits and Rob got the country breakfast. My french toast was nothing short of amazing!! I MUST get the recipe for it! The apple maple syrup wasn't even the consistency of syrup. It looked like creamy caramel. Sooooo good! It actually made the wait in the bitter cold well worth the visit. I'll definitely be back!


After eating, Robin had to head home since she was scheduled later today and hadn't been to sleep yet. Rob, Steven, Kofi and I took a drive around downtown for a quick tour. We didn't get out of the car since it was so chilly. After the tour and goodbye's I headed to Bed, Bath and Beyond to refill our supply of Keurig and Tassimo coffee & tea. I was looking forward to enjoying a nice cup of tea while cuddling on the couch in my new Snuggie, which Robin bought for me on the way home from work this morning. I guess she saw my status post on Facebook last night where I was complaining about being cold and how I wish I had a Snuggie!

Soooo sweet!

Lucas and his dog bone getting in the picture!

Cozy!

I think Lucas and Jake are a bit jealous!

Blue Moon on New Years

Last night we had the most spectacular Blue Moon.

Robin and I were coming home from errands and were stopped at a traffic light and the moon seemed so close, full and beautiful. It was surrounded by perfect clouds. I really wish I had my camera with me!

Later in the evening we took the tripod to the backyard to try to get some photos. It was a bit of a hassle since there were so many fast-moving clouds. Also, the tripod I was using was my Mothers and it is not very user friendly. Actually, I'm not quite sure why my Mother even had a tripod. Makes me wonder where she got it.

The next blue moon on New Years Eve won't occur until 2028! Isn't it amazing?






For our first New Years Eve together, Robin and I went out for an early dinner then came home and watched some television. Neither of us are party people and we really didn't want to deal with checkpoints or drunk drivers so we opted to stay home, which was nice. We watched a bit of CNN with Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin (who we love!) and then switched it over to Dick Clark. Don't you almost have to watch Dick Clark?? He's practically been a part of every New Years I've had (minus those spent at bars or parties!) I'd love to experience Times Square on New Years while he's still around... seems like it just won't be the same without him.

After a quiet night with such a beautiful moon and a wonderful New Years kiss, I was so happy that I would be waking up the following morning to a new year after experiencing one of the best and worst years of my life. It was nice to say "good riddance" to 2009!

For this first day of 2010, Robin went out and bought some hoppin' john and collard greens for dinner. This Southern tradition is said to bring luck for the New Year. I haven't had any in over six years and considering my luck in that time span I need all the help that I can get! I hope it works!

Hello 2010!

Sheepman Graffiti

For the last couple of days I have been fighting a cold with Airborne, Nyquil, Ibuprofen, orange juice... you name it. I have little PTO time at work so I have been trying so hard to stay well. I've finally managed to regulate my blood sugar and I've also been trying to regulate my sleep pattern. This isn't so easy since Robin and I work opposite hours. When I get home at 4:30 she is sleeping and doesn't wake up until almost 6pm and then she leaves for work. Those few hours are the only time we get to spend together on weekdays so I normally nap with her. Sometimes I'm so tired that I keep sleeping after she leaves and don't wake up until late. When I do this I normally am up until the wee hours of the morning. I am trying so hard to not do this... being sick doesn't make it easy!

Yesterday I got off work at 1pm and wanted to take advantage of the day. I made plans to ride out to James Island to see the Sheepman Graffiti that I saw on the wonderful blog Charleston Daily Photo. I really wanted to see it before it was defaced or painted over. Robin didn't have to be at work until 7pm so she came along. Along the way we had lunch at Bessinger's BBQ and I had the pulled BBQ chicken sandwich and onion rings. Last time I had the cheeseburger, which I didn't care for so I decided to try something different. I really made the right choice because this was the BEST chicken sandwich that I have ever had. I've tried Robert's and Melvin's and they both use the mustard based BBQ sauce and I don't care for it much. Bessinger's uses the red sauce and it was soooo delicious. I remember years ago Lonnie always tried to get me to go to Bessinger's and I refused. What the hell was I thinking??

After lunch we rode out to the Buffalo South Shopping Center on Folly Road to check out this graffiti. We drove around the back of the mostly abandoned plaza to find the most amazing art work! The artist is known at "The Sheepman" but after researching a bit I found out that his real name is Douglas Panzone. His work is amazing!

Holiday Weekend

This Summer has gone by so quickly! I have been away from Charleston for so long that I have forgotten what to expect weather-wise. Since it's already September I keep expecting to see the first hints of the leaves changing colors and to feel the chill from dropping temperatures... then I remember that I am no longer in the Midwest where those things happen in September! This is Charleston... there is no smell in the air of burning leaves, there are no Fall festivals or colorful roadside pumpkin patches... here, you buy your pumpkin at the grocery store! I keep wondering to myself if there is a place with all of these things that I love from the Midwest as well as the things I enjoy from the Charleston - the smell of the ocean, roadside fruit trucks from the island farms and most of all - no snow! If you know of this place, I'd like to know!

On Friday, Robin met me after work and we went to St. Francis for my ultrasound. My left leg, which has a history of DVT, has continually bothered me over the years so I went and had it checked out again. The tech said she didn't see anything out of the ordinary so I have no idea what the next step will be. There has to be some way to figure out what is causing the pain and swelling that has lasted 10+ years! I'm assuming that Dr. Eads will get the results today and we will go from there.

After the test we went to see Jackie who is in ICU after they screwed up her surgery last week. Turns out we were too early for visiting hours so we braved traffic and headed to Bessingers in West Ashley for lunch. I had never eaten at Bessingers and really wasn't too thrilled with my cheeseburger. I'm not so sure it was real beef and I ended up cutting my patty in half so the burger to bun ratio would be better. Strange, I know. My appetite just hasn't been the same since starting my new diabetes prescription. Before the new Rx I never had a taste for food and now it's even worse. Most of the time I never finish my meal and end up throwing it away... I suppose that's a good thing, though. I do have to say that out of all the Bessinger brothers establishments Bessingers has the best onion rings! Delicious. That's another thing that I love about the South... or maybe, it's just Charleston and those damn BBQ people - In my travels I've never found another place that does onion rings like they do!

Delicious!

After lunch we went back to the hospital and visited Jackie, who was doing much better than the trolls at work reported. I'm not sure what they were up to with making it seem like Jackie was on death's door. I suppose it was some sort of need for self-importance or something. I feel bad for not going and visiting more, but since Mom and Dad passing away I'm not too keen on hanging out at hospitals if you know what I mean!

After the hospital we spent a couple of hours at my Mom's house... soon after we showed up so did Janine! We spent most of the time keeping an eye on her since her dogs are temporarily taking up residence in Mom's back yard. It's so annoying having her back in my life these days. I don't trust her a bit. She came in the house and wandered around eyeing everything. At one point she disappeared into the back bedrooms and I wanted to follow her so badly to see what she was up to! I gave her several of Mom's paintings and she asked for a few things in particular and I told her that I would look for them for her.

When I booted Traci out of the house she took several things including a painting of Mom's that was promised to Janine. Years ago Mom gave Traci a painting and Traci ended up leaving it in Washington State with her ex "Dill". The painting that was promised to Janine was one of the things that Traci took and now Janine wants it. I told Janine that she needed to get it herself and that I wanted nothing to do with it. Well, I get a phone call the other day from Janine stating that she asked Traci for the painting and Traci said she isn't giving it to her until she has the other one that was hanging in the living room. Um, what?? First of all, she LEFT her painting in Washington and who said she gets another? Now she's being snatchy and not giving Janine her painting? What's pissing me off about all of this is that I'm being forced to side with Janine! So, now I have to go go Mom's, get the other painting and go beat Traci's ass to get the one promised to Janine! Really, is it that serious?? They treated Mom like crap and now they want a keepsake? Unbelievable!

After all that drama we went home and took a much needed nap! We woke up around 2am and were both really hungry so we went to the IHOP up the street. I think it was the worst service that I have had in a really long time! They weren't that busy but the server just didn't have it together. I initially thought it was a language barrier since she seemed to be European (my guess was Czech) but I think it was just an off night for her! After our late night dinner we stayed up for a bit and eventually went back to sleep.

We didn't have to be anywhere until later the following day and it was nice to be able to just lounge around in soft pants! Sometimes the quiet times spent together, when we aren't running around doing a million things, are the times I cherish the most!

My Last First Kiss

So much has happened in the last couple of months that I have absolutely no idea where to start this blog. Life has been such a mix of happiness, sadness, fun and stress!

In my last full blog I mentioned that I had plans to see Noche Flamenca at the Spoleto Festival. The plan for the night was to meet Audrey at her husband's restaurant Il Cortile Del Re where we had dinner and a couple glasses of wine. Earlier in the day something happened that most certainly changed my life.

I was so tired of the back and forth with Teresa that I decided to start dating. With great hesitancy, I joined a dating website and would occasionally browse other members. There were several people that I thought were attractive and occasionally I would receive an email or a "smile" from someone interested in me. After a lot of thought, I decided to get a paying membership and start contacting people on my own. I was a paying member for weeks before I actually had the nerve to send an email to someone!

There was this one girl that always caught my attention. She had the greatest smile and whenever I would browse members I always stopped on her profile. Her name was SunnyRN68 (or something like that). I assumed that she was a happy nurse and born in '68... kind of obvious! I decided to send her an email because I just couldn't get her smile off my mind. I didn't want to give too much information or be too forward because of the whole rejection thing. I mean, this girl was really cute and I just didn't think she would be interested in me! The email that I sent was short and sweet and basically said that I always stop on her profile when browsing because her smile was amazing. It took everything I had to press the "send" button, but I did.

Two days later I received an email response... her name was Robin. The email was pretty short and she asked me a couple of questions about myself. I responded and put my phone number in the email in hopes that she would call me. The afternoon that I was going to see Noche Flamenca I received a phone call from her and we talked for a while. The conversation was flowing and there wasn't a moment of awkward silence! She told me that she was going to a party in James Island that night with friends and I told her about my Spoleto event. I had to cut the conversation short because I still had to get dressed to go out. I asked her if I could call her on my way downtown because I really didn't want our conversation to end! I hurried and got dressed, jumped in my Jeep and dialed her number and talked to her until I parked.

I met Audrey and we had a fabulous dinner and then headed to The Cistern for the concert. We hitched a ride with some of her friends on golf carts who were also going to the show. One of the servers at the restaurant suggested we bring a tablecloth and sit in the grass because the general admission seats were in the very back. After getting more wine at the event we spread out the tablecloth near the front and were told by a Spoleto worker that we weren't supposed to do that. We sweet talked him a bit and he went to ask the manager who gave us the okay. We had an amazing view! During the show I received a text message from Robin asking if I wanted to meet up after the show. I responded and said I would call her later.

During the last Flamenco number it started raining and both Audrey and I got drenched. Our golf cart friends had already left so we walked the several blocks back to the restaurant. It was a full moon and Audrey, an acupuncturist who is a former theater major, howled loudly, which startled the lady across the street from us. After a couple more glasses of wine I departed the restaurant and walked back to my car where I called Robin. She was still at the party in James Island and we made plans to meet at Patrick's.

When I got to Patrick's I was so nervous! First of all, I was wearing a skirt and sweater which I would never normally wear to the club and then I had been caught in the rain earlier in the evening so I looked like hell. Thankfully, I had those glasses of wine so I wasn't freaking out too much. I told her to call me when she got to the club and we would meet a the door. I parked all the way down at the end of the lot. When she called to tell me she was there I heard voices in the background. I said "Are there people with you?" and she said "Yes" and at the point I freaked out. She wasn't supposed to have people with her! How unfair! I was alone and didn't have support with me! Ugh! I was totally nervous at that point, but there was no turning back. I wanted to see that smile in person!

The walk to the door of the club was unnerving. I could see the three of them standing there as I walked for what seemed like a mile. I tried not to touch or fix my hair or clothes and attempted to walk confidently. I could see all of them watching me and it took everything I had not to turn around. I couldn't believe she brought people! When I finally arrived at the door Robin gave me a big hug and introduced me to her friends. We went inside, got a couple of drinks and found a table so we could watch the drag show. Thankfully it was a night that Teresa was out of town or decided to stay home!

Robin and I chatted non-stop about everything and anything. It was so easy talking to her. Her smile was even better in person and I thought she was totally hot. It seemed so natural being next to her that at one point I actually put my hand on her knee. I felt like I had known her forever. Her friend Tina managed to drag Robin to the dance floor during the intermission to do the Electric Slide (yes, they still do that here!) and before she went out she apologized in advance for her dancing and asked if she could get a second date even if she danced poorly. I said yes... I didn't watch her dance because I had say hello to some friends and use the restroom. When I got back we continued our conversation and stayed until closing. She said her car was at the party in James Island and I asked her if she wanted a ride. I wasn't ready for the night to end and all I could think about was how I was going to go about kissing her goodnight! She accepted my offer for a ride and we were off to James Island!

When we arrived we sat in my car and talked for hours! I can't remember the last time I had felt so at ease with someone. She was smart, cute, funny and totally odd, which I found to be quite charming. Finally, around 4am, we decided that it was late and both needed to head out. Earlier she asked me if I would be interested in going to see the Riverdogs game on Tuesday - of course I was! In rapid fire our final conversation went like this:

Robin: So, you are going to be careful on the way home?
Me: Yes
Robin: And you are going to call me when you get home?
Me: Yes
Robin: And you are going to the game with me on Tuesday?
Me: Yes
Robin: And would you like a kiss goodnight?
Me: Yes

And that is how I met the love of my life.

Hiatus

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so here is my excuse for the lack of blogs...

It's not that I've been avoiding blogging, it's just that I've been super busy with life... and loving life, which is SO nice for a change! I promise to update shortly!

Evolve

Life's a journey, not a destination

~Steven Tyler

More and more I am starting to believe that life is just a never ending journey. For years I kept thinking that one day I would finally reach that place where I was supposed to end up in life. When I reached that place I would be happy and content because the path I took was divine and meant to be. I've had all of these happy, sad, crazy, beautiful, thoughtful moments over the last 40 years and I truly believed that it was just a part of the adventure and there would eventually be a final destination. I don't believe that anymore. I believe that the journey never ends and that life will continue to have so many more wonderful, sad, joyous, heartbreaking and lovely moments until we leave the Earth.

I've lived with the philosophy that "everything happens for a reason" and I suppose I never really stopped to think of what that means until recently. I do think that everything happens for a reason and when you have an experience it just makes you stronger and better prepared for your next hurdle... but only if you stop to remember where you came from.

The past couple of weeks have been busy, but quiet. I like times like this. The quiet has allowed me to be reflective about all of the things that have happened to me over the last couple of years. Most of the things were hard and very trying and I've wondered how those hurdles changed me as a person. Am I stronger? More vulnerable? More patient? Less trusting? More cautious? I think I hit the lottery when it comes to life experience. I'm the friend that "it" has happened to... no matter what "it" is, really! Would I have been all that happy with a quiet life? I think not. So... I reflect, process and move on.

When I was in St. Louis my Grandfather's wife, Mil, told me that she found a "spot" but didn't really specify where it was or what kind of spot. She told me that she hadn't told anyone about it and swore me to secrecy. With everything going on with my Uncle and the fact that my Grandfather had to go in to get a lesion of skin cancer removed, she said she didn't want to worry anyone or cause any undue stress on the family. Well, that was a couple of weeks ago and after her biopsy they found out she had breast cancer. Today she had a mastectomy. I swear I will never again ask "what next??"

Die Sonne scheint noch
(The sun still shines)
~Sophie Scholl

On a lighter note, can I just say how much I love the sun and the ocean? I was at my friend Troy's house last night and he lives feet away from salt water marsh. When I pulled into the drive I just sat there and inhaled. God, I missed that smell when I was in the Midwest! I've gone to the beach a couple of times since it's gotten warmer. I normally go to this spot at the tip of Sullivan's Island that's normally less crowded if you walk far enough.

It has a perfect view of Fort Sumter

... and of the new Ravenel Bridge

I really must have lost practice on how to protect myself from sun exposure while up North. I put sunscreen on but I think my technique was a bit out of whack. The day after my last beach trip I had the most splotchy and abnormal tan lines. I wasn't very thorough with the coverage, I'm afraid. There were white patches here and there and burned areas all over. I looked like the victim of some horrible disease. My back was the worst part of the whole situation. I blame it on the fact that I didn't have a "beach friend" to rub lotion on me. It got a little crispy. I think I fixed the problem by buying spray on lotion. Hopefully that will work.

Besides relaxing at the beach I have been busy hanging out with friends. This past weekend I met Teresa and her friend Brenda at The Chart, which is the local lesbian bar. The band Jamison Alley was playing. The band was okay and I was actually quite surprised when they played a Cowboy Mouth song and two Concrete Blonde songs. I had never been to The Chart before but had wanted to go for a while! I've been wanting to disprove my theory about all the lesbians in Charleston being members of the underground lesbian mafia but sadly, Friday was not the night I was going to upset that theory. There was an odd mix of women there... none of which I was attracted to (with the exception of Teresa, or course!!) and crazily enough, most of the people in this lesbian bar were actually men! Go figure! My theory stands!

Last night my friend Troy and I hung out for the first time since my return to Charleston. We decided to go to dinner and I let him choose. Bad idea. He chose Rue de Jean which is a French restaurant. I decided that after one look at the menu I would have to bring snacks with me if I ever visited Paris. There was absolutely nothing on the menu that appealed to me. Rabbit? I think not! We decided to go around the corner to Coast Bar & Grill although still a stretch, I was able to find something that I could eat. Troy told me that after years of living in Manhattan that it's hard to eat at bad restaurants. I told Troy to stop being so snobby! I love a good restaurant, but Charleston is filled with seafood - blech!

After dinner we strolled over to Dudley's which used to be one of the oldest, hole in the wall gay bars in Charleston. They've moved over to Ann Street and surprisingly it's now quite nice! We walked in and there were about 15 people at the bar. All eyes were on the television sets over the bar. No one paid any attention to us. We stood there for a few moments suddenly realizing that we were in some sort of Twilight Zone episode where the world was filled with people possessed by televisions. We focused in on the TV's also and realized that it was American Idol. If we'd have spoke I am quite sure we would have been shushed. We actually had to wait until commercial break to get a cocktail. wow! When we were finally served we took our cocktails to the back of the bar to shoot a game of pool and to talk about the weirdness that just happened. It was nice seeing Troy again. Hopefully we will be able to get together more often!

As promised, here are pictures from the Great Turtle Rescue 2009 in North Carolina a couple of weeks ago. Duste the "Snake Warrior" helps move a very slow turtle out of the road.



This is a really fun time in Charleston because Spoleto is about to start! Well, to most locals it's NOT fun if you have to do anything downtown because it's a total madhouse with wacky tourist traffic! Most locals avoid downtown for the 17 days of the festival if they can! Not me!

I'm pretty excited about the festival. Through a long-time friend in NYC, I've met someone who lives in Mt Pleasant. We've been talking back and forth on Facebook but haven't yet met. We decided to go to the performance of Noche Flamenca on Saturday June 6th and on Sunday May 31st I have tickets to Addicted to Bad Ideas. There is actually an ulterior motive to my going to Addicted to Bad Ideas... Brian Viglione from the Dresden Dolls is preforming with them! Justin mentioned several months ago that the Dresden Dolls website said he was going to be in Charleston and it turns out it is for Spoleto. I don't really know much about the show except that it's some sort of "punk cabaret" - sounds fun! I can't wait! I'm SO ready for some fun and the Summer!

In the meantime, I've stopped trying to figure out the world (and people!) and am just learning to take it one day at a time. I'm not letting those people with negative energy get to me and I'm just trying to be happy on my journey. It's all I can do.

-Thanks for the pictures Teresa! :)

N.C. Stuff and Nonsense

Before I went to St. Louis I promised myself that I wouldn't call or text Teresa. I had hoped that since I would be busy she wouldn't cross my mind but I found that it was quite the opposite. I couldn't stop thinking about her all weekend. She was in North Carolina helping her ex open her cabin and I frequently wondered how she was, if she was having fun and if she was thinking of me as much as I thought about her. I didn't have any contact with her until Monday when I called to find out if she or Traci would be picking me up at the airport. Teresa said that she would be picking me up and even though we were "just friends" I was pretty happy about that.

After talking to her before I boarded my first plane home I felt that something was different in her voice. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. When I finally reached Charleston I was so ready to get off the plane to see her. I was nervous and didn't know why and at the same time I was mad at myself because she made it clear to me that she wasn't ready for a relationship so why was I getting my hopes up? I needed to do just as I was doing before I left town and respect her feelings and decision to not have me in her life in a romantic way.

When I finally arrived in Charleston and got to the baggage area I spotted her right away and to be honest, it was complete torture that I could not kiss her hello. I was her friend and thankful for the ride home... that's it! I was also hungry so we stopped at Denny's for something to eat. While waiting for food she sat next to me in the booth so we could show each other our photos from the weekend. At one point, her face was inches from mine and I tried to convince myself that I was crazy for thinking that there was a brief moment where she looked at me and it was more than a look from someone who was just a friend. I got butterflies in my stomach and did my best to ignore it.

We got to my house and I started unpacking. It as late, but I was wide awake and told her to hang out with me. We watched TV for a bit in our usual position... she was sitting up and because I'm a glutton for punishment, my head was in her lap. To be honest, I can't even remember what we were watching. Before long her hand was on my hair... and my neck... and my arm.... Um, what's happening here? Aw! She DID miss me! I was happy, hesitant and scared about getting her attention again.

This past weekend I had plans to visit my friend Duste and her girlfriend Nikki in North Carolina and I asked Teresa, who also knows Duste, if she wanted to join me. I was so excited when she said yes! Friday night was beyond lovely and it just went downhill from there. On the way home she had checked out emotionally and physically and I knew that it was back to square one. I was emotionally exhausted from the roller coaster ride and still am.

Fast Forward to today.... we are "just friends" AGAIN! Pure bliss lasted for 5 days. sigh! It's not exactly where I want things to be, but I definitely don't want to be with someone who doesn't want me. My feelings are strong and this is most definitely hard but I need to keep reminding myself that her friendship is what matters most.

Will I ever win?

It was really nice seeing Duste again. I think the last time I saw her was at my Father's funeral in 2003. We got there Friday evening and went for some Mexican and then to Dairy Queen in Southport. On the way home Nikki saw some blue lights from police cars and made Duste drive by to see what was happening... turns out it was a license check! Duste is a corrections officer and knew the cops so we drove through, but it was hysterical that Nikki was so excited that there may possibly be some action happening and it was just a traffic stop!

On the way home Friday night we were on the main road that leads to Duste's house when Duste said she saw a snake in the road. She turned the car around and went back to the area and it turned out that it was an diamondback rattlesnake. ew! I didn't get a very good look at it because I didn't have my glasses on but I did see that it was coiled up and ready to strike. We all argued about what to do and I told Duste she couldn't run it over and her argument was that it was a neighborhood and the snake was deadly and what if a kid was outside playing? With that, she rolled MY JEEP over the snake! I think I screamed for 5 minutes! She turned the car around again and the snake was still alive and still partially coiled for attack. She ran over it again and this time stepped on the gas and actually SPUN OUT on the snake! I am sure there is snake juice on my car! I was mortified.

The next day we were coming home from the store and we saw another snake crossing the road. It was about 3 feet long, black with faded looking white rings around it. I think it was a king snake or something. Anyway, we were going pretty fast and couldn't avoid hitting this one. By the time we turned around a couple of other cars hit it as well and it was on the side of the road. That is just TOO MUCH snake action for one weekend.

On a lighter note, Duste and Teresa DID rescue a snapping turtle by helping it cross the road. That thing was HUGE. Teresa has pictures of it. If I get copies I will definitely post them.

Just do me a favor and remind me to never go hiking or walking in Duste's reptilian neighborhood!!

Our lovely hosts... Nikki and the "Snake Warrior", Duste

Going Home

Every day I remind myself that I need to come home and post a new blog so I'm not overwhelmed with catching up. It never fails that I get busy and before I know it I'm in bed, overdue on sleep and only a couple of hours until I need to be at work. My sleep pattern is getting a little better. I average 4 hours a night before getting up at 5:45. At least I'm not back in the day when I didn't sleep at all!

Two weeks ago I made a spur of the moment trip to St. Louis to go see my Uncle before he started his radiation and chemotherapy treatment. I saw him in February at my Mom's funeral but I had not seen the rest of the family for over a year and I was really feeling that I needed to check in with everyone, especially my Grandfather. It was a quick weekend trip and I actually got a great last minute deal on airfare and car rental, which was nice. Saturday morning my plane left at 5:30 am (ugh!) and I arrived in St. Louis around 9am. I picked up my rental car and headed to Uncle Chuck's house in Collinsville.

The weekend was really nice and it was great spending time with everyone. I miss living so close. When I was in Ohio I was only 5 1/2 hours away and I really should have taken advantage of that more often. Charleston is a 14+ hour drive to St. Louis and believe me... it's a bitch! Saturday was a pretty lazy day. Peggy was having a birthday party for the Mother so I went upstairs and napped. When I got up Uncle Chuck, Peggy and I went into town for dinner.

On Sunday I made plans to have lunch with Grandpa and Mil. I knew they wanted to see Uncle Chuck, so he and Peggy followed me to their house so they could visit for a bit. Eventually Grandpa, Mil and I headed to Applebees for lunch and then to Wal-Mart to pick up Mil's prescriptions. You never know where you will end up with those two!

After lunch, on my way back to Uncle Chuck's, I made a detour and took the back roads through the country. When I'm in town I always make sure I go to the family cemetery. I really love it out there - it's so peaceful. I sat for a moment in front of the fresh grave of my Uncle who passed away the day before my Mother and reflected on what my family has been through over the past couple of years and prayed that things will get better.

I was a bit sad that my cousin Denise made no effort to see me (again!) when I was visiting. Over the last couple of years she has become more and more estranged and I'm pretty much over it. There was a time when we were very close and now she can't even be bothered to return a phone call. Unless you text her, you won't hear from her! On top of the bond that we already share we are now both without parents. I wanted to talk to her and spend time with her and I'm really sad that she did not take the time to do that even after I contacted her multiple times over the weekend. I wonder what is going on in her life that makes her treat family this way.

Sunday evening Kris, Sarah, Erin and Eric come over for dinner so I could meet the babies and see Ava. Truth be told, my biological clock has been ticking for several years but after a couple of hours with two infants and wild 4-year old I was having second thoughts about motherhood!

Kris, Ava, Sarah and Jacob

Me and Jacob

The adorable Norah

Jacob, Norah and Erin

The weekend flew by and before I knew it I was on a plane headed back to Charleston. Just before I returned the rental car I stumbled upon something pretty humorous.

Not sure if I'd want to shop where they laugh at me before I even walk in the door!

In the same neighborhood, I also found this wonderful sign:


I was ready to get back home so I dropped off my car and hopped on the shuttle and headed to the airport. I must say that this trip was the most pleasurable airline experience I have ever had. They didn't lost my luggage, the planes were all half-full so I didn't have to sit next to anyone and the flights were all on time!

On the way home I sat next to the engine of the plane. I felt responsible to watch for any birds we might fly into. Luckily I didn't have to report any fatalities and we didn't have to land in the Mississippi River or the ocean!

Lovely!