Yeah, not so much... Look at this pile that welcomed me back! Ugh!
Initially I was okay, but by 11am I was exhausted. I could barely keep my eyes open and all I wanted to do was go out to my car and take a nap. I did go outside and sat in the car for a while, but it was 88 degrees out and it was just too hot to be comfortable. I was miserable. All I could do was go back to my desk, turn on my iPod, get as much caffeine in me as I could and carry on until 4pm. Oddly enough, the three weeks I was off I didn't have one drop of coffee, which is really unusual for me. I think it was because I slept such odd hours while off. I really need to get back on a normal sleeping schedule.
In a couple of weeks Robin is going to start working days. I wonder how that change will affect our relationship? It's always been a struggle because I want to spend time with her, but the only time she is at home when I am is when she is sleeping. Unless I take a nap I don't get to spend any time with her. Now she will be getting off at 7pm and will be home by 8pm. Hopefully we can get into a routine of eating dinner when she gets home and going to bed at a decent hour! She will have weekends off so that will be really nice! Sometimes she works weekends and I never get to see her. I can go out with my friends but I really like doing stuff with her! We'll see how all of this works out. I'm being positive about it. I really hope it will add some sort of normalcy to our lives.
I'd better conjure up some kind of energy soon because this is the part of the year when things get busy! I just found out tonight that my friend Noey, from Ohio, will be here this Saturday with a couple of friends. Also, the kids of my old high school friend Jennifer, who now lives in Colorado, will be in town from this Thursday to Next Tuesday - how fun! I really can't wait to meet them! I haven't seen Jennifer since 1985 and I really wish she was coming also! I love showing people around Charleston! It's such an amazing, beautiful city and this really is the perfect time of year to come visit!
In June my cousin Denise, from Illinois, will be coming to visit. She hasn't been to Charleston in several years so it will interesting to see what she thinks of all the changes that have happened around town. Charleston, especially upper King Street, has really been built up since she has been here. Also, a lot of the intersections have changed so navigating for her might be a bit of a challenge at first! I can't wait! I love having visitors!
As for me... well, I'm totally out of PTO time at work. Each year we get 118 hours (or something like that) and I used several days the beginning of the year when I was sick and I also used two days when Lucas was paralyzed. Just before surgery I had about 40 hours left and I had to use that the first week I was out. The rule is that you have to use PTO for the first week before you can use any short term disability. So, that sucked up all of my PTO for the year.
Being that my blood sugar was out of control, I've had incredibly high blood pressure and oh! Cancer - who knows what toll that poison was taking on me - I was sick. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do because the policy at work is that you cannot take a day off if you don't have PTO time. I have FMLA paperwork filled out for doctors appointments so I will be protected for that, but if I want a personal day off I'm stuck. I was thinking of writing a letter to my Manager explaining that my PTO is gone and could they possibly have some leniency on me if would like a personal day? I could not care less if I have to take it without pay. To me, if you are doing your work and are caught up it shouldn't be a problem. If people are abusing the system, then deal with them on an individual basis.
I was going to wait a week or so after coming back to write this letter. I'm not sure how it's going to go over. McKesson is a big corporation, but you know how some people are with making their own rules! All I know is that it will be a miserable existence for me if I can't take a day off for the rest of the year!
It's amazing how word travels throughout the building when something happens to someone. All day I had people that I barely know ask me how I was doing after my surgery! wow! Someone I hardly know started talking to me about her sister-in-law who had thyroid cancer out of the blue! I just stood there going "oh, really?" when I was really thinking "I don't even know you!" Amazing.
Speaking of cancer, I just found out from a classmate that his wife (my age!) just found out she has pancreatic cancer. She is having a tumor removed this week and the doctor is giving her 6-9 months. It makes me so thankful that I got off "easy" with having papillary thyroid cancer. I can't even imagine dealing with a prognosis like that.
Unreal.
2 comments:
It just goes to show that when we think we have it bad ... someone always has it worse. I feel shamed sometimes when I see how little my problems are in comparison. Yes I had a stroke, yes I almost died. But I got (almost) completely better - fast. I can't imagine cancer. I hate the word, I hate the disease. I admire you, Pam, for the courage with which you have faced this, and continue to face it.
It's funny how people come out of the woodwork when they find out what has happened to you. I also had people I didn't know start talking about someone they knew who had a stroke. Or people I hadn't seen in years somehow knew about it and wanted to talk. Hmmmmmmm. I guess because I've been there, and can understand?
I am thinking about you, and wishing you and Robin the best! I hope you can settle down to a routine that works for you both, and gives you some time for real life.
Clytie,
Your positive thoughts and uplifting words always make me feel better even on the most "blah" days! Thank you so much!!
~Pam
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