Today I went to the crackhead Kroger on Wayne Avenue. There are actually a couple of crackhead Kroger stores but this, I believe, is the true crackhead Kroger. When I was pulling out of the parking lot I saw a sign that totally perplexed me, so I thought I would share it with you.
Can someone please explain what the hell a "bascart" is? Is this some weird Ohio thing that I don't know about yet? I worked in the grocery store business for 7 (very long!) years and have never heard of bascarts! We called them "buggies" where I lived. I know that's probably a strange southern term that mid-westerners will laugh at, but it is what it is. I usually called them "carts" but will occasionally slip with the "buggy" term.
I am assuming that bascarts are somewhat of a hybrid of carts and baskets but remember... this is the crackhead Kroger and there is no way that there will be something as sophisticated as a hybrid ANYTHING happening here! The carts in this particular Kroger look like any ordinary grocery store cart... just a little more worn. I'm almost afraid to put groceries in them, which is why I only stop there for small things like bread so I won't be forced into using the carts... er, bascarts.
I wonder who actually ordered the sign? Did the makers of the sign question what the hell a "bascart" is, like I did? I've never noticed these signs at the other Kroger stores.
Where is my brilliant linguistics student when I need him? (sigh!)
Yesterday when I came home from work and errands, I noticed that my neighbor decided to mow the lawn in a very schizophrenic way. There are large clumps of grass here and there and I was trying to decide if he was attempting to make a statement with mowing art. I thought maybe he would finish the job today, but no such luck. I'm just happy that he mowed half of my yard!
Today when I arrived home I walked across my busy street while attempting to not get killed by the Xenia Avenue crackheads. When I stepped on the sidewalk I actually gasped! My bar of soap was no longer safe on my stairs!! My bar of soap was now on the main sidewalk VERY close to the street. I almost picked up the soap and moved it back to it's former residence but thought that I might be messing with the intended journey of the soap.
I didn't notice the soap on the sidewalk yesterday so I think this may have happened today. I wonder if the mail carrier was in a bad mood and just kicked it? I wonder if it happened yesterday during the schizophrenic lawn mowing? Perhaps I will run to the sidewalk when it gets dark and return the soap to it's original place?
How can you just mess with someone's soap like that?!
Notice the schizophrenic mowing technique on the right side of the lawn!
Several months ago I discovered a bar of soap laying on the stairs leading to my front porch. I thought it was really strange because I didn't put it there and it was actually quite close to my porch. The person that put the soap there was in close proximity to my front door and that's kind of creepy. What is more creepy is that they had a bar of soap with them.
I have thought a lot about this bar of soap and I have wondered about the scenario which resulted in the leaving of the soap on my step. For instance, where is the packaging? Why was the person (if it was a person!) carrying a bar of soap that wasn't in the package? This soap has been on my step for months! I noticed it before winter. When it snowed I was shoveling the front steps and realized that I had shoveled the soap into my yard. I didn't really see it when I did that... I just knew it was on the step before the snowfall and with one quick shovel it was gone!
So, the soap has survived sunshine, rainstorms, blizzards and miraculously, the mail carrier hasn't killed themselves tripping on it! After the snow melted the soap re-appeared on my steps but a little further down. I know that it isn't my soap because I use Dr. Bronner's peppermint bar soap. I think this soap might be of the Caress or Tone brand. It's lost a lot of it's color but has nicely maintained it's shape throughout the seasons.
The soap couldn't have been accidentally tossed from the garbage truck because the garbage is actually in our back alley. My street does have a lot of foot traffic with all the crackheads wandering around, but how many crackheads have soap with them? Also, my house sits up on a hill pretty far from the street and the probability of someone just tossing the soap onto my steps is slim.
I have thought about when I get my lawn mowed and think I might have to tell whomever does it to leave the soap alone. I am not sure what is stranger... the mysterious soap on my step or the fact that I am blogging about it. 
The Mystery Soap!
The first Cure song I ever heard was 'Play For Today' on a radio station out of Seattle called KJET. I was in the 8th grade at Central Kitsap Junior High and I felt that I had just discovered something so wonderful that I didn't even want to talk about it. I wanted The Cure to be mine and only mine (as well as everyone else's that listened to KJET, of course!)
When I lived in Washington I was one of many who listened to goth and punk music. Our schools lip-sync consisted of performances of Devo, The Plasmatics, Black Flag, and The B-52's among others. I thought all high schools were like this. I was sadly mistaken!
When I moved to Goose Creek, South Carolina in 1985 reality hit hard and I realized that not all schools were as progressive as CKHS. The people at Goose Creek High School had never even heard of Depeche Mode and were listening to Sly Fox! I quickly became friends with Carol, the one girl who had spiked hair and said she loved Morrissey! Unfortunately she graduated that year but I found another friend, Chantel, who had moved to South Carolina from San Diego so she was in the secret club of "real" alternative music and things were good.
My junior year some of my friends and I we were downtown Charleston at Colonial Lake hanging out. On the local radio station I heard the first couple notes of "Just Like Heaven" and I could not believe my ears! I had a sense of disgust that The Cure was on the radio... and not even an alternative station! My friends were excited, but I was mad because my secret little alternative world was forever gone. Soon everyone at GCHS knew that the words written on the beloved Pee-Chee folders that I had kept since my school days in Washington State didn't really have to do with some disease... the mainstream now knew that The Cure was one of the greatest bands ever!
Tonight I was reminded of that night at Colonial Lake while watching American Idol. Blake preformed "Love Song" (beautifully, I might add!) and I just sat there thinking about that night in 1987 that pretty much ended my love affair with all-things-Cure. After a little air-play several people at GCHS would be known to say "have you heard that NEW band called "The Cure?" Things were just never the same.
I am still trying to get over hearing This Mortal Coil's "Song to the Siren" on a perfume commercial, and now The Cure on American Idol of all things!
I wish I had all the vinyl that is stored at my mother's house in Charleston. (sigh!)
I'm sick of being sick.
I'm tired of taking medicine and miss being able to breathe properly. I can't taste anything so I suppose it's not such a bad thing that I STILL can't find any of those damn Girl Scouts selling their EVIL cookies AND it really doesn't help that a certain someone keeps mentioning that he has boxes of Do-si-do's, Thin Mints and Samoas... My three favorite flavors! Not very nice, I think.
I went to work today even though I woke up feeling like death warmed over. I can't even think straight. I feel like my head is in a vice and I had to force myself to stay at work a whole day. They kept telling me to go home, but I knew that my work would just keep piling up and it would be pain to get caught up. Today was actually the worst of it, I think.
This past weekend I didn't really do much of anything. Just to get out of the house, I forced myself to go to The Devil's Playground on Saturday and yesterday Justin and I had lunch and then went to Jack's Aquarium. On the way to Jack's we passed Sonic and I really wanted a Lemon-Berry Slush. When I lived in St. Louis we had Sonic's all over the place, but in Ohio there are only a few so I rarely get to have my beloved slush's.
I was having TOTAL sensory overload and managed to skip placing our order entirely and drove straight to the window. I don't know what came over me! We were talking and going over all the flavors and I just spazzed out and pulled forward. I heard the guy at the window tell the car in front of us how much their order was and that is when I realized what a dumb ass I am. I told the guy that I was highly medicated and he just was like "mmmmm, hmmmmm... okey-dokey!!" I knew it was time to go home and go back to bed!
Oh! I made a very important decision this week. About 6 or 7 years ago, my friend Jackie and I felt that we were destined to be single and childless forever. We both had a string of bad relationships and were kind of fed up with the whole dating scene. We really thought that we would wind up being the single old lady on our block. You know which one I am talking about... the one that all the kids are afraid of... the one with all the cats? Well, after cat--sitting for several days I have decided that I can NEVER be an old and single cat lady. I have 4 very needy cats in my apartment that like to (in random order throughout the night) stick their wet noses and tickly whiskers in my face while I am attempting to sleep. They actually are very sweet (and NO I am NOT adopting them, Justin!!) I actually don't mind doing it (really!) However, I think I will opt to to be the not-so-single person that may have a couple of pets and kids.
Jackie already went back on her pledge of forever being a single, old cat lady. Her son , Quentin, is now 5!
I woke up yesterday morning and I felt like the Boo Hag had been "ridin" me all night. I had to pry myself out of bed. I felt that dry sinus feeling you get just before you get a cold. When I got to work my throat was so dry and I could not stop drinking. I felt tired all day and knew that I was getting sick. My co-worker, Pam, kept telling me that my eyes looked "weird"... they were watery and itchy all day. When I got home I didn't feel like doing anything. I didn't have much of an appetite and I had to force myself to eat dinner.
This morning I got up and didn't feel much better. I was pretty lethargic and I actually thought about calling in. I got dressed and stopped by Burger King on the way to work. All I wanted was a humongous drink. I didn't really care about the food at all. Around 9:30 I was talking to Belinda and I made the comment that I didn't feel very well. She said that I should go see one of the urgent care doctors downstairs. I told her that I really didn't want to since I had just started working there and my insurance hadn't kicked in. She said "Pam, we're all just a family here..." I thought that was pretty humorous, but apparently she was serious. She called one of the doctors downstairs and told him I was on my way down. I really didn't want to waste their time, but she insisted.
So... after poking, prodding and swabbing me, the doctor said "No wonder over the counter things didn't work for you... you have strep throat!" Okay, I am almost 40 years old and have NEVER had strep throat. Do adults really get that? He gave me a bottle of antibiotics and said told me not to kiss anyone. Hmmmm.
I went upstairs and tried to work the rest of the day, but I started feeling worse. I could not get enough water and I just wanted to lay down! I finished the most important things on my list and told Belinda that I was leaving. It's WONDERFUL being able to leave work without the threat of being fired or written up for having no PTO time. It's nice being treated like an adult at my job! (are you listening Noey and Tina??)
So, I left work and all I wanted was a milkshake from Steak n Shake. A chocolate one. Not McDonalds... not Burger King... but Steak n Shake! Their milkshakes have little ice crystals in them and I appreciate that. It was worth the drive for the cold chocolatey goodness!
On my way home I stopped at a red light and a question came to mind that I have been meaning to ask. It's just another quirk about Ohio that I just don't understand. Why is it that 9 out of 10 red lights will not allow you to make a right-hand turn? It's the most ridiculous thing ever! Every state I have ever lived in allows right turn on red... why not Ohio? Good thing I had to my throat-coating, ice crystal, chocolate milkshake to distract me from being pissed off about it... even if it had whipped cream when I asked for none!
Geez, it's so hard being me!
I should be cleaning my apartment, but instead I am drinking coffee and (as my friend Jimmy's Mother calls it) "living the life of ease." I suppose at some point today I should get dressed and actually leave the house. Well, I have several hours before the Academy Awards start tonight to take care of my errands... so coffee and the life of ease, it is!
Yesterday I met Justin in West Chester (is that one word or two words? Need to look that up!) and we drove to Indiana to go to the Webb Antique Mall. I think they should change their name to the "Webb Clown / Princess Di / JFK memorabilia Antique Mall." I get major sensory overload in places like this. I love all the small items in the glass cases but if you really looked at them closely it would take you all day! We wandered about and tried to be organized about our route through the place, but it really had a strange layout. Justin tried to be helpful by picking out things to decorate my apartment with, like a massive clown head, Princess Di rugs and scary dolls to put over my non-existent headboard. I told him once that if we ever end up cohabitating I will leave all the decorating up to him... now I'm not so sure. Sadly, we left empty-handed.
We drove back to Oxford and he took me to the library at Miami U. Did you know that I am dating a celebrity? There is a poster advertising the library with a picture of Justin on it hanging in the stairwell... I TOTALLY have to have one of these! Who needs scary clown heads when I can have a poster of Justin and his co-worker who uses her kid as an excuse everytime she needs to leave early, to decorate my apartment?!
We were supposed to go see a play at the University so we went to Justin's office to check to see if tickets had been released. Before buying the tickets he showed me around one of the creepiest libraries I have ever been in. His office is in the basement of the Art and Architecture Library and the whole time I was there I was really creeped out. He told me stories about suicides in the building but I really try to keep an open mind about places like this and not let stories or past events influence my feelings and thinking. The library was closed so it was just the two of us. I constantly felt like someone was watching me. I kept turning my head to look, but of course no one was there. He goes there to study sometimes overnight - there is no way I would be in there alone!
We had a couple of hours to kill before the play, so we went to dinner and we started to have freezing rain. By the time we left the restaurant there was an inch of slush on the road. We didn't know how long it was supposed to last and decided to go to the play anyway.
The play was "The Conversion of Ka'ahumanu" It was done in a very small and intimate theater at the University. Although a bit long at times, it was interesting since I really have no idea about the history of Hawaii and it's native people (sorry Justin! - I'm learning!) I can't imagine having to act in such a small setting. I mean, I can see getting up on a stage and doing a play because you really can't see the audience because of all the lighting. With this play the actors might as well have been part of the audience! At times they were a foot away from us and there was a lot of eye contact between the actors and audience members. I think I would start laughing or something. I suppose this is why I am not an actress.
When we left the play the freezing rain was still coming down. I was wearing clogs and my socks were drenched. Justin had an umbrella but it didn't really help much! I just knew I was going to fall and bust my ass. We made it to the car and he was using the ice scraper brush to get all of the slush/ice off the car. This is the point in the story where I become an abused woman. He went to throw the scraper into the backseat but when doing so, he whacked me on the head with it and all the ice and slush that was on the brush was now all over me! He was VERY amused by this. I think that I have a concussion as well as cerebral hemorrhaging along with hypothermia from all the fallen ice that landed on me... PLUS, it was dirty ice! :(
And, yes... I plan on using this act of abuse for years to come against him! :)
Last year after it snowed a couple of inches I was walking to my car and my shoes were absolutely wet. I went and bought some snow boots because having wet shoes isn't much fun, really. Well, after my purchase it didn't snow again for the rest of winter and I never really had the opportunity to wear my boots. Needless to say, I have worn my boots more than I care to discuss this winter. I am over the snow. It needs to go away.
After the last snowfall a couple of weeks ago I let Mother Nature take care of my steps and sidewalk while silently hoping that no one (mostly myself) would not slip and fall while the sun did it's job of melting said snow. I got lucky. I didn't want my luck to run out so after the 5 or 6 inches we got the other day I did some thinking. Maybe if I go out and buy a snow shovel I might have the luck I had when I bought my boots. Perhaps it won't snow again all season!
Tonight I went to Home Depot and bought a shovel. I've never purchased a shovel before, let alone a snow shovel, so I was a bit overwhelmed with the selection. Who knew there were so many kinds of snow shovels!? I bought one that had a fun little ergonomically correct curve to it hoping that after I shovel I won't be totally achy. I came home, put on the snow boots that I have worn too often recently and went to town on my porch, steps and sidewalk.
Shoveling snow is not fun. Where are all the neighborhood kids that need extra cash??
I mean, I did it when I was a kid, but that was for money! I have a bad feeling about the achy thing tomorrow - I think I used the snow shoveling muscles I haven't used since I was a kid. Also, when I came inside my face was frozen and full of hives - yes, I am allergic to the cold! Actually, this is the first time since being in Ohio that I have had the hive thing. It's not very attractive, I'm afraid. I hope the mail carrier appreciates my efforts and leaves me a nice present or something. I am sure she has been cussing me all over the place about having to risk her life to bring me my Netflix movies.
My last thought about Ohio and it's horrible snow problem is this; I CONSTANTLY bitch about the snow and the cold and how it sucks the life out of me. Everyone keeps telling me the same thing "Ohhhhh, this is nothing compared to how it NORMALLY is!!" So, if this is nothing and Ohio is used to MORE snow than 5 or 6 inches, then why is it so freakin' hard to maintain the roads? It started snowing Tuesday around noon and stopped late Tuesday evening. How is it that when I drove to work at 9:30am on Wednesday, there was STILL snow on the road and it was pretty hazardous. Can someone please explain this to me? If it were to snow like everyone tells me it normally does, I can only assume that Dayton is in an emergency state since it can't even keep up with a couple of inches!
Here's hoping my new shovel has the same magical effect on Mother Nature as my boots did!
Something is terribly wrong with me. I keep getting sick. I should bel happy that it's only on weekend mornings, but waking up to nausea is not fun. I am feeling better... thanks for asking.
I woke up hoping the weather people were going to be made asses of again, but no such luck. How many inches is it?? I need to check on that. I knew it had snowed as soon as I woke up and my room was glowing from the reflection outside. Damn that Mother Nature!
I spent the entire day attempting to keep food down and I finished watching 'Walk The Line'. I love Joaquin Phoenix, but I had a hard time seeing Johnny Cash in him except, perhaps, in the Folsom Prison performance scene. I really don't know much about June Carter so I don't really have an opinion on Reese Witherspoon's performance. I had no idea that June Carter Cash wrote "Ring of Fire"! I love that song!
After the movie I finally got up the energy to go outside and dig out my car from the snow trench that the lovely city of Dayton buried it under. I knew that if I waited until morning I would be in trouble. When I walked out my backdoor to open the garage door I noticed a couple of animal tracks in the fresh snow. One looked like a chicken but I am assuming it wasn't since I am not aware of any wild chickens on the east side. The other was something I didn't recognize but I think it might be a chupacabra. I called Becky and she said perhaps it was a rabbit? Maybe all the noises I hear upstairs are wild chupacabra and not ghosts as I suspected??
Rabbit or Chupacabra??
So there I was at work... bitching endlessly about having to help out customer service on the phones. My shift was from 12pm to 2pm. I despise having to talk to patients on the phone about bills. They never call because they are happy and want to thank you... they usually call because they are mad and want to dispute something... not so much fun, really! I was so happy when 2pm rolled around. I started getting my junk together when I happened to look up at the receptionist desk. There was a man with a flower delivery and they happened to be one of my favorite flowers... stargazer lilies! I kind of hid behind the computer and kept on talking to Felica since I had a feeling that they might be for me.
They were.
So, I was totally embarrassed (in a good way, mind you) as I carried my beautiful flowers from the amazingly wonderful Justin, back to my desk. It was so sweet. My hands were trembling and I was trying not to cry. I don't think I worked much for the rest of the day. I mean, how can you really work when you have fabulous stargazer lilies on your desk and a silly smile on your face??
Tonight Becky and Pam took me to see Dreamgirls for my birthday. How is it that Jennifer Hudson didn't win American Idol? She has an amazing voice! I wasn't really impressed with the theater at the Greene. It was a Friday night and there was no food ready for patrons. I really wanted pretzel bites but there was a 22 minute wait on them! Have you ever heard of such a thing? Having to wait for food to cook at a movie theater? Also, the chairs became uncomfortable about an hour into the movie and I think the sound quality in the theater was lacking. I hope that this isn't a regular occurrence! I did like the movie, however. I was looking hard at Beyonce on the big screen for any slight imperfection and just couldn't find one. Ugh!
Well, it's 2:33 am and I am offically 38 years and 3 minutes old. In 1,051,197 minutes I will be 40! It seems like yesterday that I was crying to Devin on the phone when I turned 30! Hmmmm... gotta go look for new wrinkles or crows feet... thank God for photoshop!
I was sitting here waiting for Justin to pick me up and I started thinking about the movies last night. We were one of the first people to go into the theater. Soon after two girls came in and sat DIRECTLY behind us. At this point there were many, many seats to choose from including the middle section of several rows in front of us as well as several rows behind us. These girls chose to sit right behind us and I was almost tempted to turn around and ask them why? I think I would have chosen to perhaps skip a row so as not to be on top of other people. I would understand if the theater was filled, but it wasn't.
Can someone please explain this to me?
My Aunt Donna passed away on January 2nd from lung cancer. She is the third person in my family in four years time that died from a smoking related illness. Actually if want to be technical it's under four years because my Dad passed on February 3, 2003.
I don't get it.
I am sure I will NEVER get it. I have tried to understand and comprehend but it just doesn't make sense. Perhaps cigarette smoking is wonderful and tasty and maybe I am just missing the point. I know it's an addiction but I think I would certainly make every attempt possible to quit if I saw my loved ones suffer and literally beg for help the way I, and other family members, have seen in the last couple of years. Some people try... some just don't.
Enough of the soap box.
I was doing some thinking on the drive to Illinois about my Aunt Donna. You know how you hear stories growing up about certain things that happened and you actually begin to think you remember them happening but you know deep down that you couldn't possibly remember because you were too young? Well, there are a couple of stories like that about my Aunt.
When we my Mom and my Aunt got together it is inevitable that the story about me in the backseat comes up. Story has it that I was hanging on the front seat asking (for the millionth time) "are we there yet??" and Donna (who was driving) had just stepped on the break and I fell back and hit the back seat. She laughed uncontrollably and I ever-so-seriously said "It ain't funny Aunt Donna!" the other story is that we were at Six Flags in St. Louis and my Aunt wouldn't ride this horrible barrel ride... you know - the one that spins so fast it sucks everyone to the wall and then the floor drops about 5 feet? Yeah, I think I was five or six and she was in her late twenties or early thirties. I actually remember this happening and I was scared to death on that ride.
One of my favorite stories about Aunt Donna is when Mark and I went to Illinois (before continuing on our White Trash Tour to the Bridges of Madison County and down to Graceland) for Denise's wedding. Donna made me and mark stuff these horrible little crocheted baskets with candy for the wedding guests. We needed some coaxing so Donna brought out the Drambuie... then the other bottles of liquor that followed. We were drunk... all three of us... laughing, talking and crying (or as Mark calls it "boozers gloom") Around 6 am we heard a noise and Donna started laughing because it was the automatic coffee pot. It was time to get up. Uncle Dave came into the kitchen and he was not at all pleased. It was a rough day for Donna, being the Mother of the bride and all. I can't really say that Mark and I were ever good influences when we got together!
One summer Aunt Donna and Uncle Dave came to Charleston and they were dining at the Holiday Inn that overlooks the Charleston Harbor. Donna was amused that she saw dolphins swimming in the harbor and proceeded to ask the server what time they come up to feed... as if the ocean was Sea World! I think this is the same trip when we were headed to the beach and she stopped in the middle of the road because she saw there was a bridge ahead of her. She was afraid of bridges and made me drive from there. Apparently she wasn't aware that wherever you drive in Charleston there are bridges!
Then there were the green beans... At Denise's wedding to Mike there was this really weird guy who was a friend of my cousin Dave. We called him "Matrix". We were cleaning up the hall and he saw that Donna was going to throw away this huge bowl of green beans and he asked if he could have them. He handed her a plastic bag to put them in. Someone had taken all the utensils so Donna started grabbing handfuls of green beans and put them in the bag. I watched in horror, but Matrix said he was a hungry bachelor. I love that story.
She not only made me laugh, she also took care of me. When I moved to Illinois she hooked me up with a really cheap apartment. She and Uncle Dave loaned me money to fix my car when I was totally broke and my freeze plug decided to explode. She stayed with me at the hospital when I had my kidney stone surgery, took me home to her house to rest so I wouldn't be alone and let Linda stay with me while she went to get my prescription filled.
I could torture you all day with stories about Aunt Donna but I will spare you. In her high school yearbook the caption on her senior picture says this: "Loves to have fun and is loads of fun."
I would definitely agree with that.
When I was at my Aunt's funeral this weekend I didn't come prepared with tissues. I thought, for some strange reason, that I would be able to hold out and not cry. (Um, whatever!) Well, as soon as I walked in the door and saw her laid out, I was done. I turned to Peggy and asked her if she had a tissue. She held out what I think was a handkerchief and then went to the bathroom to get me some form of kleenex. The closest thing the church had to offer was those really hard folded hand towels - not very good for hard crying. I think I have abrasions on my face from it.
So, all of this got me thinking about how nice it would have been to have a nice, soft handkerchief of my own. I have never thought of owning one... I mean, it's kind of old fashioned, no? I don't think I would ever use it for nose blowing or anything like that because that is kind of nasty. I have been to more funerals than I care to go to and I always have tissues that crumble and fall apart. I think I need an monogrammed one... don't you think?
I became so curious that I googled the word "handkerchief" - actually to be honest, I spelled it wrong at first. Who knew it had a "d" in it?? I clicked on the Wikipedia link and learned a little more about my new obsession. Who knew there was such a debate going on about hygiene?? I scrolled down to the section that says "See also" and the item "Handkerchief code" caught my eye. Um, whoa. Carpenter Sex?? Ponyism?? Sitophilia?? Definitely worth the click for all you perv's...
Now... I'm not even sure what color I should get!! Something so simple is all too confusing! Do these rules count for women, also??
Last night I was doing laundry while getting ready for my trip to St. Louis. I went down to the basement and collected the clothes from the dryer, which were still damp. I decided since the clothes were still damp I would hang them to air dry in my apartment and put the ones that I was taking on my trip in the dryer. I walked up my stairs and put my hand on the doorknob which leads into my kitchen and as soon as I touched it I heard he deadbolt lock from inside. I hesitated for a second thinking I must be imagining it but when I tried to open the door I realized that it was exactly what I head. I was locked out.
I didn't really stop to think of how a deadbolt could lock itself. I live by myself and can't imagine that Jake and Basie are clever enough to concoct a plan to lock me out when doing laundry. I am, after all, the one that feeds them and I don't think they are that mischievous! My first thought was to go outside to check if the front door was locked. I never leave the door unlocked so I knew that I was having false hope. I was wearing a nighgown sort of thing so I had to put on the damp clothes that I had been carrying (that were now on the floor) to go outside. As I had thought, the front door and all the windows were locked.
I went into the basement and looked for anything that I could slip between the door and the bolt and found nothing. I walked back upstairs and with all the frustration and anger that I had in me slammed against the door. It actually budged. So... I did that about 20 more times and finally busted the door open, deadbolt and all. There are not little wood pieces all over my kitchen that I am still too pissed off to clean up!
Look how butch I can be!!This is the same kitchen door that mysteriously opens itself, while deadbolted. On several occasions I have been home and gone into my kitchen and seen the door wide open with the deadbolt still locked. How can a door open when deadbolted?? This apartment is wacky. I need to move. I need money to move! The other day, while in my computer room, the radio in the bathroom kept turning on. There is a switch that you slide back and forth to do this, but it kept doing it on it's own. I would turn it off and 10 minutes later it would be back on. You could blame it on a power surge, except I have never heard of power surges sliding on and off switches! The other morning when Becky and Jennifer came over Becky told me that the radio was on. She thought I had left it on for the cats. Obviously the other inhabitants of my apartment are music lovers. I just with they'd chip in for rent!
In other news, a black cat crossed my path coming down Xenia Avenue the other day. I tell myself that I am not superstitious so why do I even think twice about such things happening. Not that a deadbolt locking on it's own from the inside or a radio turning itself off and on has anything to do with bad luck... just another supernatural occurrence to ponder.
I haven't been bowling in 21 years. I calculated this by the fact that I moved to South Carolina in December 1985 and we had a bowling alley a a couple of blocks from my house. Traci and I used to go there because we were bored and didn't know anyone. I also met my first South Carolina boyfriend, Bill Zamora, there... but that's a whole other Oprah.
Ahhhh, bowling. I sucked in 1685 and I pretty much suck now.
Tina's birthday is next week so she got some friends together and we met up at Eastern Lanes in Middletown. Like a bad hooker motel, Eastern Lanes rents by the hour, which I found to be quite odd. It is by far the worst bowling alley I have ever been in. When we bowled, our balls would disappear and never show up again.... we would wait and watch the little conveyor belt for our ball to come back and sometimes it just never did.
We kept having to call the maintenance people to fix the lane. We would bowl a frame and then the thing that wipes all pins away would get stuck... we would hit reset and nothing would happen. I think half of the time we rented the lane we waited for things to get fixed or for our ball to re-appear!
I found this wonderful lime green ball that was light-weight and had big enough fingers and I kept losing it to the hungry bowling alley monsters. It was very sad when I lost it. I saw that the people next to us were using one just like it so when they weren't looking I swiped it... it took them a long time to notice that I "borrowed" it. One of the maintenance people finally came over to see why we were not getting our balls back and he lifted up a board on the floor and started pulling out all these balls that we had lost - including my original lime green one! The people in the next lane confiscated the one I "borrowed" after mine reappeared.
Eastern Lanes is not only the worst bowling alley I have been in, but it is the greasiest! They really believe in lubing up their lanes! I actually dropped my lovely lime green ball behind me when I was about the bowl. I stepped up the the little dotted line, aimed my ball like the professional that I am, swung my arm back and WHAM! To everyone's amusement, the ball dropped behind me... It was greasy dammit!
One awesome thing about tonight was that I didn't come home smelling like cigarette smoke. I think I like this smoking in public places ban! Normally I would have driven home as fast as I could to tear off my nasty-smokey-smelling clothes but this was the first time I didn't have to and I liked that! I can go to bed without having to take a shower or bath to get rid of the cigarette stench in my hair. Nothing is worse than trying to sleep with the smell of second-hand smoke on your pillow :(
Yay! for smoking bans and boo! for bad bowling alleys!
I'm only 37 and I had my first mammogram today.
Everyone who knows me will say that I am totally non-compliant when it comes to my own medical issues. I don't take prescribed medicine for my diabetes and I don't eat the way that I should. If there is something wrong with me I pretty much have to be dying to go to the doctor. You would think that since I am in the medical profession that this wouldn't bother me so much, but it does. I don't want to know what's wrong. I have seen what happens to people when they find out "what's wrong" and the outcome hasn't been pretty most of the time. I think to myself that if I go to the doctor for something, eventually there WILL be something wrong.
I didn't have to go to the doctor to find out that I was diabetic... I already worked there. I wasn't feeling like myself. I was urinating a lot, feeling very lethargic and kind of shaky. My friend Judy, who also happened to be the nurse practitioner in the practice that I managed, asked me if ever had my blood sugar taken before. She knew my Mom was a diabetic and I told her that I had taken it before, several years prior. We did a finger stick and my (non-fasting) blood sugar was over 300. Dr. Eads gave me that look that physicians must learn in medical school... the "you'd better take care of that" look! The next morning our phlebotomist did an A1C on me and it was sky high! Ugh. I made the much-dreaded appointment with my private doctor.
Throughout the years I have been on the being compliant/not being compliant rollercoaster. I think taking pills is a huge pain in the ass, then I think to myself that administering insulin injections on myself would suck a lot more. So, I had my stupid Glucophage prescription filled and have been back on the compliant bandwagon for a week. I'm slowly starting to change my eating habits because what is the purpose of taking medicine if I can't give up Cold Stone? It sucks, really.
So... A couple of weeks ago I started having pain in my right breast (modesty or refraining from talking about my privates has never been a strong point of mine so grab a cup of coffee if you are game!) It hurt like hell... as if someone was taking a needle and plunging into me - not fun.
Last Monday I was on break with my friends at work and I was telling them about the pain while I proceeded to feel my boobs in front of them. The under part of my breast was really swollen and there was actually a lump. I told my friends to come feel it and they all looked at me like I was mental. I told them it wasn't sexual and to come feel it. Brave Noelle was first and then Tina. Teresa (aka Pollyanna) wouldn't do it even though I tell myself that she secretly wanted to. They felt the lump so I knew that I wasn't crazy. (If you want to know who your true friends are ask them to feel the lump in your breast! Yep!)
I was out with this boy that I really like and he told me that I should have it checked out. My first thought was no freakin' way. I didn't want to know if there was something wrong especially since everyone in my family seems to be dying from cancer these days. But, you see... I really like this boy and would pretty much do anything for him, so I made an appointment with my doctor.
My doctor said the tissue in my right breast was inflamed and he gave me an antibiotic and said that with my family history I should have had a mammogram a long time ago. Ugh. My mammogram appointment today was for 7:00 am, which was not fun. Another thing that was not fun was not wearing deoderant or lotion for several hours! After registration they took me back and gave me a gown to wear. (It was really sexy - I should have taken a self portrait in it.)
The gown was small and the opening was in the front and I had to hold it together the whole time so my ample bosom didn't pop out. There really isn't time for modesty in places or situations like this. When I was led back to the room the tech told me exactly what she was going to do during the exam. The whole time she was telling me how she was going to hold and manipulate my breast for each image... demonstrating on herself the entire time. I don't think I ever looked at her face during the briefing since I was totally mesmerized that she was moving her breasts all about without a care in the world.
Before I went for my appointment I had asked all of my friends if mammograms hurt... they told me it didn't. Turns out that all my friends are dirty liars! It does hurt. It hurts like a bitch. I wondered how they did this to women with small breasts. That has to hurt! How do they get it in there? I need to see this in person! I wonder if youtube.com has mammogram videos? Hmmm....
After the tech tortured me she took the images to the radiologist to see if there was anything that he could see that was abnormal. That was the longest 15 minutes of my life. I was sitting in this small room and I felt so incredibly lonely all of the sudden. I was having this pain that could be nothing but could also be something that would alter my life immediately. I thought of my Grandmother sitting in the chair just like I was waiting... just like I was and would I hear the same news that they told her? I'm not even sure if that's how she found out. My mind was all over the place thinking about all of my family members who have been told that they had this horrible disease and that split second... that instant that would literally change their lives.
I tried to think happy thoughts. I wished I had a friend there with me. I wish that I wasn't sitting in that chair in that too-small gown holding my boobs in. I wished that I could stop thinking about everyone in my family with cancer, praying that I wouldn't be the next one.
The tech finally came back in and she said that I had lovely breast tissue... the kind that is transparent in the images and that I was lucky for that. She said that the doctor didn't find anything but I should follow up with my regular doctor since I am still having pain.
I think I was holding my breath the entire time I was waiting and upon hearing this news, I finally exhaled.
I walked back to my little dressing room and couldn't help but notice the woman that was next in line. We just looked at each other and I silently wished her luck. I noticed her gown was way too big on her and she was bigger than me! I think the tech gave me the smaller gown on purpose... she must have sensed that I have lovely breast tissue!
postcards, antiques, mango, back roads, boys who can dance, big fluffy clouds, lilacs, chocolate, e. e. cummings, people watching, taking photos, Spanish moss, eye contact, autumn leaves, kitchen stores, first times, fresh-cut grass, hammocks, heart-stopping lyrics, intense conversations, Phillip Simmons iron gates, John Cusack, kissing, laughing 'til it hurts, fortune cookies, self portraits, cookbooks, laughing too loudly, spontaneity, stargazer lilies, lipstick, Chipotle, long emails, lust for life, making lists, cosmopolitans, homemade CD's, iPod's, handwritten letters, afternoon naps on a rainy day, hotels, thought provoking quotes, geocaching, perfect pens, photobooths, lightning bugs, live performance, sleeping babies, car dancing, genealogy, handmade things, Feast of Fools podcast, street festivals, picnics, ghost stories, tidal pools, stained glass, Scrabble, learning new things, flea markets, thunderstorms, sandalwood, Lucky Charms, reading, road trips, sweet potato pie, letters and packages in my mailbox, elderly couples dancing, sharpies, perfect sunlight before dusk, Super Elastic Bubble Plastic, Judy Blume, camping, rollercoaster's, Pat Conroy, good wine, watching the snow fall, Pablo Neruda, mementos, roadside attractions, post-it notes, James Dean, meaningful hugs, smell of chlorine on my skin, talk radio, rainbows, waving goats, good manners, soundtracks, wandering aimlessly, fried pickles, smell of pluff mud, Hans Christian Anderson, candles, dinner with friends, true crime, farmers markets, a knowing look, used book stores, discovering new music, Trivial Pursuit, hot chai tea, daydreaming, abandoned buildings, cozy pajamas, Zots, lavender, margarita's, pop culture, Halloween, books of questions, Emily Dickinson, hiking, excellent coffee, Kids in the Hall, pizza, cemeteries, cooking, scent of vanilla, suprasternal notch, worthwhile movies, laying on a blanket watching the stars, hot baths, cabinet cards, reading the newspaper, adventures, love notes, firm handshakes, chance meetings, blogging, Italian soda's, The Young One's, skeleton keys, serendipity, caramel apples, Sylvia Plath, reading out loud, pin-ups, mosaics, people watching, smoothies, thrift stores, vinyl records, sheets hung outside to dry, salty ocean air, a baby's laugh, sunsets, gerber daisies, coke floats, hippos, campfires, sleeping in, honesty, libraries, art museums, office supply stores, synchronicity, hot soup on a cold day, comfortable silence, saag paneer, The Nutcracker, airmail, Cold Stone Creamery, sculpture, iced tea.
Last night I was on my computer with the television on in the background and I heard the start of a FOX newscast regarding the recent election. The report was about gay marriage in Massachusetts and how it has been successfully legal for two years and that it will probably stay that way.
During the report, FOX showed several clips of happy gay and lesbian couples tying the knot. Most of the couples would exchange a very happy, intimate and meaningful look and then go in for a kiss. At first I thought I was just imagining things but as I kept watching I realized that FOX showed the couples BEGIN to kiss but NEVER actually showed the meeting of the lips. I suppose that I would have never noticed it if had it been one couple, but it was a series of 7-10 couples all in rapid succession. I sat there in total disbelief.
Moments like this are so incredibly sobering.
I left my house this morning to run an errand and when I came back I walked through the front door of my apartment and through the living room When I walked from the living room into my dining room something just wasn't right. I stopped in my tracks and looked to the right of me. My broom, that was previously leaning against my dining room wall, was now standing upright on it's bristles... touching nothing but the floor - it was just standing there, on end. Oddly, I wasn't scared or creeped out at the sight of this. I reached for the broom and when my hand came within a couple inches, it fell towards the wall, into my hand.
I leaned the broom up against the wall and walked towards the kitchen. After a couple of steps I realized what I had just witnessed and THEN every hair on my body stood on end! I think that if I hadn't witnessed it I would never believe it. I'm not sure what I want to do about the situation. I'm still too freaked out to set up any recording devices.. maybe in a little time I will do that. I think I might do some research on the house for prior ownership and history.
I guess my biggest question is why it (whatever "it" is) all of the sudden appearing... and when will it show next??
Weird, huh?
I was soooo excited to find out that my favorite band, Blues Traveler, were playing in Richmond, Indiana! The BT website said that it was at Earlham College and it was a free show for students since it was homecoming weekend. On hearing this news, I was a bit hesitant about going to the show because I believe that the best shows are those where people actually pay for their tickets... you know those people are there because they really care for the band and not because it was free.
I called the number listed on the website several times because I kept getting a voice mail. There was no information on the recording about the show, which was a bit frustrating. I finally decided to press "0" and that got me to a receptionist of sorts. She told me that I needed to speak with the Runyan desk for tickets. I called the Runyan desk and the person that answered the phone took my info and said that she would mail my tickets since they didn't have a "will call" desk. Seemed simple enough.. sort of.
I ordered the tickets on Monday, October 2nd and the concert was Friday, October 13th. On Monday, October 9th I called the Runyan desk to check the status of my tickets since I still hadn't received them. The person I spoke to on this day told me that they NEVER mail tickets and they would be waiting for me at "will call" - now I was officially confused and could not help but wonder what was happening over at Earlham that they had such a lack of communication!
Jenny picked me up after work and we drove directly to Richmond. We both wanted to go to the show early so we could take our usual positions at the front of the stage. When we drove into Richmond we were trying to find Earlham - we had a map which really wasn't too helpful. I had been caching in Richmond before and was semi-familiar with the area but didn't remember seeing a college in town, so I wasn't too helpful, either! What we did find was that there wasn't too much happening in Richmond - the Applebees seemed to be that happening hot spot of Richmond - how sad is that?
We finally found Earlham and the gymnasium, which is where the concert was. When we arrived there was only a handful of people there. I went to the information desk and asked a woman where the "will call" desk was. She said "What??" and I said "I am looking for the "will call" desk" and she said "What??!!" and I said "The concert here tonight... I am looking for the place where I pick up my tickets" and she said "Oh, the concert is over there" and pointed toward the gym doors. Uh, thanks, lady.
Next, we walked over to the place where they were setting up for t-shirt sales... surely they would know where I pick up my tickets! I asked the guy and he said "What??" and I repeated myself and he looked at me blankly. He pointed to a more official looking person and said I should ask him. The guy turned to me and I started to ask him and halfway through my question he said "hold on a minute" and walked away. I turned to Jenny and said that we had just stepped into the Earlham Vortex where all things are strange. When the guy came back I asked about "will call" again and he said he didn't know. I came to the conclusion that there was no such thing as "will call" in Indiana.
We decided to hang out and wait for something resembling a "will call" desk to show up. We sat outside the gym and saw many frightening things. I thought it might have been a full moon but I was wrong, HOWEVER, it WAS Friday the 13th. Earlham College is the land of many scary outfits.. and scary people wearing them. We got to witness a bit of the Earlham dance troupe's practice. It was like a train wreck... so wonderfully bad. THEN the most awesome thing ever!! This guy walks down the hall wearing long black palazzo pants and a black long sleeve button-up shirt that was buttoned all the way up. He was carrying a huge martial arts-type stick. He walked into the gym and went to town with the kung fu moves. He kicked the ass of an invisible-someone for over an hour.
We finally saw a couple of girls start to set up a table that looked like it might be used for tickets... or "will call" where I am from. After they set up, got the tickets out looked officially in business I went up to the table and said "Is this where I pick up tickets?" and the girl gave me "the hand" and said "NOT YET!" so I said "when?" and she said "7:30"... it was about 7:00 and at that point and I could really see the point in making me wait... NOT!
While sitting there waiting I saw other people go up to the table and were handed tickets. I watched in amazement. I decided to convince myself that these people were alumni and that they had priority since it was homecoming weekend. This explanation almost made me feel better. I was gettting alittle irate because people were beginning to arrive and there was a line forming at the door of the gym. We had arrived first but were not going to have to stand in line due to the unorganization at Earlham Vortex.
Around 7:20 I went back to the table where there were now 3 women sitting and looking quite official. I asked if they were open yet and they said "not yet" - what the hell were they doing?? I decided to stand right in front of the table until they opened. They were irritating me! Jenny stood with me... I think the Kung fu dancer guy in the gym finally scared her! After standing at the desk for several minutes this kid walked up and asked one of the girls if they were open and her response was "oh, yeah... we've been open!" WHAT?! I wanted to kick her. When I got the table I said "ohhhh... you're open now?" and the girl said "yes" and I said "well, I've been standing here, one foot away... you couldn't tell me?!" She just looked at me and gave me my tickets.
The Earlham Vortex got a little stranger when we finally got into the gym. We had to wait in line a bit but luckily we were entertained by palazzo pants man. When they opened the doors we went directly to the stage where there was no one standing. Odd. Everyone was sitting down and I was concerned about the. I asked one of the ushers if we were allowed to stand at the stage and she said the area between the chairs and the floor were for dancing and if you stood there you had to dance. That sounded absurd, so I laughed. She said that everyone had to sit prior to the show. What the hell is that all about?! That's the strangest thing I ever heard, but at this point, considering Earlham... it made perfect sense... um, yeah.
Jenny and I sat in the chairs waiting patiently while discussing the horrid unorganization and fiasco that was the Blues Traveler show. While discussing the many oddities of Earlham this transgendered kid in front of us turned around and started chatting with us. She is a sophomore and was full of information - apparently, even some of the students think Earlham is somewhat of a vortex. We also learned that the flake at the so-called "will call" desk is her housemate. Hmmm... sorry to hear that.
When the house lights went off everyone rushed the stage. I just knew it was going to be a sucky crowd.... here are my main complaints:
1. Free shows = bad crowds
2. The crowd only knows the songs Run Around and Hook
3. Body surfing is for the mentally challenged
4. Dry campus = sober band = not as much fun
5. Sitting at at Blues Traveler show = wtf?!
6. Silly girls that scream dumb things to the band like "come to my soccer game tomorrow!!" Yeah, that's what they want to do!
I think the thing that irritated me most were the two guys standing in front of me. They just stood there. Here, the band was, totally rocking out and these guys didn't even move! Toward the end of the show one of the guys handed John a paper with the word "Imagine" on it. John told him that they couldn't play it... then, a couple of minutes later they did, indeed, play Imagine. The two guys in front of me suddenly came to life.
Here is what I don't get... Why on Earth would you come to a Blues Traveler show, who have some of the greatest songs I have ever heard, to request ANOTHER bands song? I mean, really! You stand there like bumps on a log all night and when they play another bands song you finally get a little life in you. To me, it was a total insult to BT. On top of that, the guy took the piece of paper with the word "Imagine" on it, turned around and raised it to the crowd so everyone would know it was HE who requested it. I REALLY wanted to kick him.
Ohhhhhhh, Earlham!
The show ended and I, again, was disappointed that they didn't play my favorite songs... I suppose they were too busy playing OTHER bands songs. It was a good show, regardless. The highlight was when they brought out that 13-year old kid from America's Got Talent' (I think that's the show, anyway) that played the harmonica. He definitely gives John a run for his money... and is it odd that I was strangely attracted to a 13-year old? I think it was the harmonica - no worries.
I should have gotten the transgendered kid's email address. She was quite fun - and from Centerville. She told me she was 19 and I almost choked. Ack! I could be her mother! Oh my!
After a stop at Frisch's we headed home... barely escaping the vortex of Earlham's weirdness.
